Page 85 of Bitter Lies

Blearily, I turn, dazed as Jason grabs my mouth and opens my jaw, and Kieran appears above me, to which I choke as he shoves inside.

My eyes roll back in my head, and I check out, staring at the ceiling while he takes my mouth and Jason mounts me. Strangely, I thought I lost my virginity in the woods, but it would seem it was inside long before it devolved into the scene that still haunts me.

And I don’t know how to feel about it, any of it, but shame at my actions is pulsing through me heavily because I lay there like a doll and allowed someone to brutalize my mouth while my supposed boyfriend watched.

The video ends, and I stare at it blankly before looking at Jason grimly and whispering, “This doesn’t mean much, beyond that I’m so drunk I can’t keep my head up, and you took advantage of me.”

“Ha! I’ve got plenty more where this came from, and I’m giving them to Griffin and the entire fucking school if you don’t back off and admit you liked it.”

“I didn’t!” Immediately, I glance around and lower my tone when people at the tables around us turn toward me and stare.

“Whatever. It wasn’t fucking rape. Do what you need to, but get Hathaway off my back,” he snarls, standing from the seat abruptly.

“What’s going on here?” Griffin asks, and with dread, I turn to find him standing a few feet away and coming toward us quickly.

Jason holds up his hands and glances at me meaningfully, and with a burning ache in my heart, I stand.

I don’t know what to do, but I think I might surely lose myself if that video or any others are revealed. The fucker is blackmailing me, but what choice do I have?

The act in and of itself was horrific, and I hardly need to relive it in front of the entirety of my peers—talk about being fucking violated again.

Griffin turns a thunderous frown on Jason, his hands clenched at his sides. “I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from her.”

With a whimper, I plaster a smile on my face and say quietly, “It’s okay. We were just talking.”

“About what? What could this piece of shit have to say to you?”

Staring into Griffin’s face, I’m terrified because this video depicts me as a lying whore, and what little dignity I have left is hanging by a fucking thread and close to unraveling. Do I need to reveal my shame? No.

And not to the one guy who has the power to break me because I’m not sure I could handle it. So, I do what Jason wants even as I die a little inside, once more leaving a piece of me behind that I fear I can never get back.

“Right, well, it’s fine,” I say lamely, hoping Jason will just fucking leave, but no, he’s here for the ultimate humiliation and stands there with a smile on his ugly fucking face.

I wish I had never met him. I wish I had walked away when Griffin denied me, picked up the shards of my broken heart, and went away to art school.

Instead, I was stupid, and here I am. All I accomplished was giving my innocence to a group of guys who don’t care, not then and not now. It didn’t change Griffin’s mind, and why would it?

Now I’m the trash, and I walked right into it. I did this, and now I get to reap the consequences once more.

“What’s fucking fine?” Griffin glances between us suspiciously, before he searches my eyes with a worried scowl.

“We talked,” Jason says with a sheepish smile, “I apologized for popping her cherry and walking. It was a dick move.”

Griffin’s eyes swing to mine, his frown fierce as he studies my face with a wretched expression, and I smile sadly.

Is he thinking about Bobby Moore and the jacket he traded away? I hope he loved that fucking jacket.

“Anyway, we’re good, man. No hard feelings, yeah?” Jason says.

“What the fuck are you saying?” Griffin mutters.

“I know you were only defending Halsey, but now that she’s admitted she was making shit up, I forgive you.”

Fuck. He had to take it all the way, didn’t he? Fucker.

“Halsey?” Griffin says, his eyes boring into mine.

“Yes?” I whisper, staring at a spot over his shoulder because I can’t bear to meet his gaze.

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