Page 85 of Forged in Rain

“Who fucking cares? Your mom is blackmailing Cyn. She’s got her own damn plan.”

She waves her hand with a frown, and I roll to my side, away from her. We’re all going to fucking die. Never mind John and his dealings with a rival family. Pam’s fucking crazy.

“I don’t know, Rainy.”

I roll my eyes, but she stands and tugs on my arm. “I don’t. Now, let’s go.”

She helps me to rise, puts me in the shower before getting me dressed. After, she styles my hair and applies makeup, but loss is the only thing I see when I look in the mirror.

I’m horribly, achingly alone, and I can’t help but wonder why Cyn didn’t tell me he knew what was going to happen. Why did he leave me hanging?

Maybe I could’ve prepared. Maybe . . .

Numbly, I follow her to the car and wallow in self-pity the entire way to school. I don’t know what’s going to greet me this time. Will I be public enemy number one or part of the fold? Or even more terrifying: no one?

“Let’s go,” she says, eyeing me with a frown.

Cyn dropped the excommunication decree on Iris but made it clear she’s not a friend. So as we enter the school, the tides part for us, and we walk through, but we’re left alone.

I search the halls for the guys, but they’re nowhere around. I don’t know if they’ll even greet me if I see them, and by lunch, I’m a ball of nerves.

I was mostly ignored during our morning classes, and Jig was missing during fourth. I hope this doesn’t mean they’re all gone, because I ache to see Cyn.

But what hits me when I reach the cafeteria doors is like a slap to the face. Cyn is at his table, and a bevy of bitches surrounds him. My eyes fly from one chick to the next before I turn my burning stare to him.

He looks terrible. Fatigue pulls at his dark eyes, and his mouth is a thin line as he speaks to Jig beside him. The chick to his left beams on his other side, sitting so close her tits brush his arm.

I come to an abrupt stop, my chest freezing, and I suck in air, but I can’t breathe. I can’t.

Someone bumps into me from behind, and I stumble, falling to my knees, stifling the cry on my lips as my ankle protests. Cyn’s head swings my way, his brows slamming over his eyes, and he looks at me with a twisted expression before Jig says something, and he blanks, turning away.

The brush off kills my soul, and turning, I fight the tide as I escape, making a beeline for the parking lot. Once again, I pound my throbbing chest, but it’s not working. Nothing is working.

I’m out the door and limping through the cars before I have time to process the change. It’s quiet out here but for a group of seniors standing next to a souped-up sports car on the far side of the parking lot.

My chest aches, and it’s not helping with the soul-deep hurt riding through me in waves. I knew I would have to sacrifice myself for Veah even if Cyn kept the actual knowledge from me but seeing him up there with a new conquest as though I don’t fucking matter is beyond devastating.

I don’t think there’s an actual word for the awful feeling twisting through me. I’m fucking lost, and I’m not sure I care to be found.

I find Iris’ car in the lot, and sitting down on the curb beside it, hidden between the vehicles, I cover my face.

What now? I can go back in there and pretend it doesn’t matter, but for what? This teenage high school shit doesn’t matter.

I’m fighting for my fucking life, and I’m on my own. I’m trapped. I don’t have McCafferty’s money. I don’t know where John is, and Pam’s plans will probably kill us all.

I can’t fix anything. I can’t fix the situation. I can’t fix Iris.

And I can’t fix myself. Fuck.

I’m still sitting on the curb, wrapped around myself, when the school bell rings, announcing the end of the day. I’m sure I’m in for another detention, but whatever.

Iris appears by the hood of the car, and, tiredly, I get into the passenger seat. She joins me, and we pull out of the lot, and when we pass the trio of guys who broke me, I refuse to look in their direction.

Chapter Seventeen

The next few weeks pass painfully slowly. My ankle finally heals, and I go to school, brood through classes, skip lunch, and go home. Jig and Bastion ignore me in the respective classes we share, going so far as to switch seats.

Iris has finally given up lecturing me about standing tall or whatever. Pam has returned to pretending she’s a normal mother, even taking the odd out-of-town nursing jobs. I don’t know what Cyn is doing because I haven’t seen him; I avoid the cafeteria like the fucking plague.

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