Vomit. I want to vomit.
The air in my lungs came out in a loud gasp and I spun around to find an exit. I thought I could play the game. Clearly, I underestimated his ability to fuck with my head. I pushed past a few people and burst through the back door into the humid night air. Taking a few steps away from the building, I reach my hands up and place them on top of my head, trying to get a solid breath in.
The rusty hinges are like nails on a chalkboard as the back door opens. I don’t even have to guess. I feel him.
“What the fuck was that?” He growls.
His question ignited a rage that has been idling just below the surface.
I whirl around. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me the first time.” He steps towards me. “You were purposely provoking me.”
“Not everything I do is about you Travis,” I hissed. I cross my arms. “I don’t even know why you care, tell me, how cliche are you, fucking some whore in a bar bathroom?”
He fists clenched at his sides. “Jesus Daniella, I didn’t fuck anyone tonight.”
“Really? Because from the looks of it, you and Violet were well on your way to it when I saw you.”
His face pales and he looks confused.
“Yeah, so don’t come out here with your jealous bullshit after what I had to see. I know you sleep with half of the women in this town, but when I actually see it…...” my words trail off and I’m pissing myself off because I want to cry.
His brows furrow. “Princess…”
“I just watched her kiss you, Travis. You have not one single clue how bad it hurts. Which is stupid because I have no valid reason to have those feelings.”
He steps to me, but I try to sidestep him, attempting to use my hands as a shield.
“I really can’t do this anymore,” I mumble as he catches my arm.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers painfully.
“Did you…” I have to look away from him because I can feel the lump in my throat.
He stares at me, then his voice is soft. “I swear I didn’t Dani.”
He wraps an arm around my waist, trying to tug me towards him.
“Stop.” I back way. “I can’t Travis.”
He stalks towards me until I have nowhere to go but against the outside wall.
It makes me furious to think we have been doing this for so long.
“I hate you,” I tell him as I glare up at him.
I do. I hate that I love him. I hate that this hurts me. I hate that he won’t choose me.
“That’s a lie.” His voice cracks as his hands grip my cheeks, but I fling up my arms, breaking his hold.
“I fucking hate you!” I scream.
He shakes his head, trying to catch my swinging fists. “Stop it, Daniella!”
I know I’m being over dramatic, but I can’t stop it. I can stop the sob that escapes me as I bang my fists against his hard chest. His arms circle around my upper body and he holds me tight with his hands locked until I finally stop fighting. I’m so tired. So, fucking tired. Now I’m crying. The tears are pouring and there is nothing I can do but let them soak through his white T-shirt.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry baby,” he murmurers into my hair.