Page 26 of Sanction

“Where are we?” She asked as she took in the brick building.

“My apartment.” I reached for her hand and led her up to the door.

“Apartment? When did you get an apartment?”

“A few months ago,” I answered as I pulled open the door and continued to the elevator.

She didn’t say anything as we stood in the small box. I think she knew exactly why I had gotten one. Her hand stayed in mine and I found myself slowly caressing her soft skin with my thumb. When we reached my floor, I made a left, heading to my door.

After fishing my keys from my pocket, I let her enter before me. She glanced around before turning to face me. I could tell she was unsure. Honestly, I was too, but the physical need for her was getting really hard to ignore and I was slipping. I tossed my keys on the table and sauntered towards her.

She went to speak, but my hand was at her neck and my lips on hers before she got the chance. My tongue seeked hers and I walked her back until we were at the couch. I really, and I mean really, wanted to fuck her, but that’s not why I brought her here. That’s not what I wanted this to be. I didn’t want this to be some quick hit while we are on such complicated terms. I sat back and tugged her onto my lap. She straddled me, so the hem of her dress started riding up her tan thighs and I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. Add in the fact there is literally nothing but the fabric of my jeans between my cock and her slick opening has me clenching my fists.

“Princess…” I start as I reach up to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“Don’t Travis.” She stiffens. Her eyes close. “Just give me a minute please. Just give me a little more time before you say it.”

She knows what I’m going to say, because I always say it. I always give in, just to push her away.

“Can you just kiss me?” Her fingers slide up the leather on my vest. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

So, I did. I kissed her softly. I kissed her and didn’t stop once as I tried to tell her everything my heart couldn’t. I could taste her tears that slid between us, salty and warm when they hit my tongue as it tangled with hers.

When we finally broke apart, she climbed off of my lap to go use the restroom. I stood to turn off the kitchen light and lock up for the night. When she came out of the doorway of the bathroom, I met her in the hallway, taking her hand and leading her to my room. I guided her to the side of the bed before stepping over to my dresser to grab her a T-shirt. She took it without argument and held my gaze as she stripped her dress over her head. My fingers flexed as I took in her naked body and I involuntarily licked my lips. She was beautiful. The curve of her hips and the shape of those long legs had me wanting to take her right here and now. She slipped the shirt over her head and crawled into my bed.

After having a serious talk with my dick, I ripped my shirt off and stepped out of my jeans. I slipped in behind her and pulled her close, so her back was pressed against my chest.

“I won’t ruin you, Dani. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself,” I say quietly.

Her hand wanders up to find mine and she laces our fingers.

“You’re not bad Travis.”

“I hurt people I love; I just can’t seem to….” I trail off. “I’m not what you need Dani. I’m the last thing you need and as I much as it fucking hurts, I can’t let myself go there. It’s not just that….” I sigh. “Your brother…. your dad. They trust me.”

She doesn’t say a word. She just strokes my hand.

I squeeze her tighter, knowing this can’t last.

“When I was fifteen, I was walking with Kyla down Main St. We had actually snuck out and stayed out all night with Paxton and Brandon at the basketball courts.” She laughs.

I grunt at the mention of her with anyone else and bury my face in her hair as she continues.

“Mrs. Vander was trying to carry her groceries up to her porch when the bags broke and her canned food tumbled all over the pavement. We were quite a ways away, but I saw it happen. Then I heard that familiar rumble and I saw you cruising by. When you spotted her, you pulled over and jumped off of your bike to help her gather her things and take them into the house.”

I remember that day, I felt bad for her. She was like eighty-five years old.

“But that wasn’t the moment,” she whispers.

“What moment?” I ask.

She turns her body to face me. Her small fingers gently resting on my jaw.

“The next Sunday I just happened to be out again and I saw you carrying her groceries in for her. I thought about how sweet it was. But when I mentioned it to Widow a few weeks later he told me that you go every Sunday after church and help her with her groceries.” She smiles timidly. “This big biker, covered in tattoos doing it out of the kindness of his “supposed” hard heart.” She looks up at me. “That was the moment I knew I was in love with you.”

My breath hitches as I stare at her. She’s never said the words out loud, even though I already knew it. She places a kiss on my lips and nuzzles her face to my chest. I close my eyes and rest my chin on her head. The words that have been buried so deep are fighting to come out. But I don’t let them. I keep them jailed, locked behind the bars, because even though she loves me, I’m not sure my love could ever be enough for her.

We both drifted off and the distant sound of my phone woke me. I reached over to my nightstand and I frowned when I didn’t recognize the number. But it said “Tennessee” and the first thought in my mind was my sister. Especially at this hour.

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