Page 44 of Sanction

I acted like I was joking, but a pain hit my chest when I thought about. I saw them together more than once after the night at Maxi’s and I will admit, it gutted me.

He gives me a look. “Jazmine and I are friends.”

“So were we,” I said softy as I looked back down at my pancakes.

“I haven’t slept with anyone else since that night at my apartment.”

His confession threw me for a loop. “Whh what?” I stutter. “But I saw you...”

He shakes his head. “You saw what I wanted you to see. Jazmine and I were not sleeping together. We were talking……besides Widow, she’s the only one that knew about us.”

I’m shocked. I seriously thought he was just getting his fill of club girls while I was drowning in heartache.

“I…didn’t know…” I admitted.

I quietly laughed to myself.

“What?” He asked.

“I actually did the same thing.” I turn my gaze to him. “Dice.”

He sucked in a breath. “You didn’t sleep with him?”

I shook my head.

“Thank fuck,” he breathed out.

I reached out to grab his hand. “He knew about us too. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to, and when he picked me up that day, I ended up spilling the tea. After that we became good friends.”

“I’m sorry, Princess. I’m sorry I put you through all this for so long.” He brushes his thumb over my damp knuckles.

“I just have one question.” I pause. It’s always been on my mind; I just never had the courage to ask him. “Why did you leave Tennessee? What happened?”

He closes his eyes, as if he was getting lost in memory, then cleared his throat. “I guess it was a lot of things that kept piling up. Trouble always seemed to find me no matter what I did.”

He repositioned himself, bringing his knees up and resting his elbows on them. “Tanner was four. She doesn’t even remember it, but one night me and a buddy were drinking. We raided the liquor cabinet and got trashed. We started doing what teenage boys do, when its almost Fourth of July. We bought fireworks and that along with some bad decisions, we accidentally caught the pool house on fire.” He dropped his head before he continued. “I had no idea…. but Tanner had wandered in there at some point and it almost killed her. My dad was able to get her out right before the fire department showed up. He blamed me. Which he wasn’t wrong. My fuck up could have killed her.”

I reached out for him. “You had no idea she was in there.”

“It doesn’t change what happened. I could have hurt someone I loved because I was reckless.”

“It was one decision,” I whisper.

“It wasn’t just that. I was fifteen when I started to drink more and I dabbled in drugs. I even started taking pills. My mother blew up when she found them in my room. Claimed I was “possessed” and of course brought up how I was endangering Tanner.” He leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. “Sad thing is she was right. I was a fuck up and it was only hurting the one person who actually loved me besides my best friend Jasper.”

I felt the need to hold him. He had given me so much comfort and love over the last two days and I needed to give him mine. I stood from the tub; the suds slid down my skin as I stepped out on to the plush rug. I reached for the towel, and wrapped it around my body. He never took his eyes off of me as I walked over and straddled his lap.

“Keep going,” I urged.

He took another deep breath. “I needed to use the computer one night, so I snuck into my dad’s office. I wasn’t supposed to be in there, but as usual I said fuck the rules. I accidentally opened some files and that’s when I realized what my dad was doing. He was laundering drug money. I stole a flash drive and uploaded all the information.”

“Did you confront him?” I asked as I reached down to hold his hand.

“I did. I threatened to tell the police. He thought I was dangerous? How could he put my mom and Tanner at risk like that? The fucking cartel?” He squeezed my hand. “He told me that if I ratted him out, Tanner and mom would be killed. It would be all my fault.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“I told him to fuck off and took the flash drive. I picked up Jasper and we were on the way to the station. I was nervous, so I drove fast. Apparently too fast because I took a turn too sharp and that was it.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and tugged me to him. “We flipped. I remember it like it was yesterday. I hated that feeling of having no control. I remember Jasper’s screams and cries for help and it still fucking haunts me. I came out with a few scratches, but Jasper broke his back. It took weeks in a hospital and months of physical therapy.”

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