Page 81 of Your Two Lips
“I can be there in thirty minutes,” she said.
I recognizedthe crunch of her tires on the gravel. How did I know the difference between her car and any other pulling into my driveway?
“Hi.” She approached the deck stairs in cautious steps, like approaching a bear.
“Thanks for coming.” I motioned to the chair next to me. “It will take a few days to get you the money you paid yesterday. I need to talk to Lucas and access the account he set up.”
“Oh, please don’t think about that right now. Focus on your dad. It’s just money.”
“Just money! Emily, ten grand may not be much to you, but it is a lot of money to me. You had no right to throw it around, particularly on my resort.”
She blanched. “I’m not throwing money around on you or your resort. Pay me back after you get going.”
“I won’t be getting it going. Not now anyway. We’ll finish the grading, but the building is on hold indefinitely.”
“What are you talking about? You have it all scheduled.”
“This heart attack changes things. Dad had already put on the brakes so he could hand more farm responsibilities to me. I hoped to transition things slowly, give me time to make a few changes. Then it would be easier to ramp up the resort and manage the farm. Now, that won’t happen. No way Dad is coming back to work.”
“Finn.” She walked over to me. “Don’t give up. This is your dream.”
“It’s not my only dream.” I stared into her eyes, trying to telegraph the hope and hurt from the last few days. She looked away. “I want a future with you, but you refuse to talk about it.”
“Finn, you and I don’t have a future.” Her eyes were shiny, but her face held the strength I loved. Strength she didn’t know she had, but one I saw every day. She whispered under her breath something I didn’t hear then, “… not good enough.”
Her words punched me in my chest, my heart. Even after all my intentions not to, I fell for a rich woman who saw me as not good enough. Someone temporary, for fun.
The walls closed in. I almost lost my father. I was losing the resort. And the woman I loved had been a lie, even though it felt more real than anything ever before. I was such a fool.
“If you don’t see a future, then I think we should end it before one of us gets hurt.” I moved toward the sliding door and pulled it open. My blood pounded, and my heart ached.
“Finn …” She held her head high. She would find another man in a hot minute. My heart might never open to another woman.
“I’ll pay you back what you spent within the week. My hands are full right now.” I looked out to the grading work happening in the distance for a dream I may never have. “I need to get back to the hospital.”
“Finn, please. Keep the money. Keep the resort. Find a way. I know you can do this.”
I closed the door behind me and pulled the blinds. I couldn’t watch her walk away from me.
50
FINN
The daysafter Dad’s heart attack passed in a haze of work, tilling under the summer cover crop and preparing for bulb planting. I set up at the heavy wooden desk in the farm office and took over the planning and the warehouse. Luis handled the daily crews and machinery. Everyone pitched in.
We kept Dad informed, and he didn’t criticize or try to control. I knew this business, and I could do this job. Luis and I managed things fine.
I still emerged from each hectic workday to drop into bed, my head swimming with visions of Emily, not only beneath me in her sexy lingerie, but on a bike in the woods or on my deck laughing at our double entendre habit. Mine had all been on purpose, maybe even that first nice rack comment. I missed her.
Dad spent a week in the hospital. When he came home, we had the guest suite on the main floor of the farmhouse ready for them. Mom focused on nursing him full-time, cooking heart-healthy recipes, and ensuring he followed the doctor-recommended exercise program to the letter. Lucas went back to Seattle. Tess flew back to school.
I stumbled through my days, mostly numb. I thought Katherine had broken my heart, but I was wrong. She broke my pride, but she was never actually close enough to my heart to break it. Emily was the first woman to do that.
With Katherine, I had imagined what it could be like to have something real with another for the first time. When she was gone, I didn’t miss her. I missed the dream.
With Emily, it wasn’t a dream. I didn’t have to imagine. I already knew the contentment and mind-numbing joy of being with her. She was genuine and decent and kind. Emily didn’t throw money around or use people. She wanted to help, use her money to keep my dream on track. She wasn’t like Katherine or any other woman.
And, because I couldn’t see through my fear that she would leave and take all the joy with her, I pushed her away and closed the door. It made no sense, and I didn’t know how to take it back.
