Page 45 of Attraction (Mobsters + Billionaires 3)
Fuck. In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.
I bite back a grin and keep my answer dry. “Put it to you this way: after dancing with Luca a few times, I figured out he’s a little shorter than me. I’ve adjusted the height of my shower dildo accordingly.”
Mads’ laughter fills the enormous space, and Rand’s mouth simply hangs open.
I snort. “I told you. Virgin doesnotmean not sexual.” Smoothing my hair, I continue, “And when I think about it with Luca, I definitely like the idea of him in charge.”
“You can be in charge from the bottom,” Mads says, still laughing.
“True, but I think I want him on top as well.”
“That’s good. That’s exactly what you can communicate to him.”
Rand’s words force me to take a deep breath, the tension spiking in my chest and neck.
“What just happened?” Mads asks. “You went all mummified on us.”
I melt back into the chair.
“I swear I trust him. I’m just so fucking nervous, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m running out of time. That I’m wasting his patience, so I need to say yes and get it over with.”
Rand and Mads are already shaking their heads.
“Absolutely not,” Rand says.
“No fucking way. You arenotrunning out of his patience. You’re not wasting anything, not time, not opportunity. Nothing. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Hell, being self-aware enough to know that is a great first step.”
“No.” I’m not explaining myself well at all. “Idowant it. I kind of need it.Reallyneed it. I get excited thinking about it, and then I get to this frozen point. I don’t think I’ll be able to ease my way into feeling like it. I’m probably going to have to fling myself off that cliff when I get to it.”
“But you want to jump off that cliff with Luca,” Rand says. “And that’s all you need to know.”
I groan again. “I wish I had a little practice—with an actual body—before going to him. Not that I want to be with anybody else, I just…wish I could try a few things? Like maybe if I had a little bit of knowledge, I would feel better. I don’t know,” I say, banging my palm against my forehead.
“Oh my God. You need an escort.”
I raise my head, staring at Mads. “What the fuck?”
Rand raises a brow at Mads, then slowly shakes his head. “Actually…it does make a sort of sense. An escort is literally somebody who isn’t emotionally involved in any way, just a neutral human that you can practice things on. You can even let them know that you want to practice with them so you feel good about getting with someone else.”
I pause and think it through. A neutral human. That…hm. I don’t like the idea of sleeping with somebody who isn’t Luca, but then again, the logical side of my brain enjoys a controlled experiment.
Mads pipes up. “Don’t forget, I actually used Luca’s escort service before Anthony and I got together.”
“You did?”
“I’ve gotta say, it doesn’t feel weird or dangerous at all. I promise. I had never before used any kind of service like that. Ever. But…his people are classy as hell. And the guys I ended up with? Incredibly sweet. Exactly what I asked for and so professional.”
I bite my lip. “I can’t believe I’m actually considering hiring an escort.”
“Maybe use a different name. I don’t think he gets into the nitty-gritty with scheduling or whatever, but…cover your bases.” Mads advises.
I glance over at Rand, who steeples his fingers. “I don’t hate this idea.”
My phone buzzes.
Luca:Hey, beautiful.
Luca:We’re lonely without our billionaires.
