Page 148 of Flawed

She rattles it off, and I program it in my cell. I shoot her a text.

Me:It's your dad. Save my number.

I lean down and kiss the top of her head then proclaim, "I'll pick you and your mom up tomorrow. Contact me at any time."

She gapes at me.

I leave, trying to process everything but determined to never again disappoint or not be there for my daughter.

26

Chanel

The Next Day

No matterhow many times I try to explain to Zara why I didn't tell Luca about her, it doesn't lessen her anger.

She always replies, "You should have told him. He would have loved me."

"That was never the issue," I admit.

My answer only seems to upset her more. She gets emotional, choking out, "Then how could you keep him from me?"

I repeat for what seems like the millionth time, "I thought he was an Abruzzo. He confirmed it. I didn't know the truth. And I would never put you in that kind of danger."

"Oh, so this is my father's fault?" she questions, her cheeks turning redder.

My insides quiver. "No. It was both our fault."

Zara's expression tells me that she isn't going to blame Luca for any of this. Her phone vibrates, and she snags it off the table. A tiny smile lights up her face.

Jealousy flares inside me. The text messages started last evening before she locked herself in her bedroom. They've continued this morning, and I know it's Luca.

Now that I know he's a Marino, I shouldn't feel this jealousy. I've always known that Luca would have been an amazing dad. So I shouldn't be anything but happy that she's finally going to have a relationship with him.

And I do want her to have one.

Yet, I can't help feeling like she'll always hate me and never forgive me. I'm afraid that the closer she gets to Luca, the more I'll be pushed away. I'm scared our relationship will never recover.

Zara glances at me, announcing, "He's on his way up."

I stand taller, nodding, my butterflies taking flight.

She adds, "You need to add him to security. My father shouldn't have to stop at the security desk."

I clench my jaw, not saying anything. Luca having full access to my life isn't something I can wrap my head around. He may be a Marino, but the danger flags still pop into my mind.

Not that he would hurt Zara or me. That's never been the issue. It's always been about the Abruzzos finding out. Now that they're no longer a danger, the flags shouldn't be there. But all of this is more complex than I ever imagined.

And I can't help but feel like I'm the only villain in this when Luca should be, too. I accept my role. But he never trusted me enough to tell me the truth. Part of me understands it, yet the other is mad as hell. That's the demon inside me that questions if he really would have made a different choice. Would he have blown his cover and taken his position in the Marino family for Zara and me? If he had, would the Abruzzos come after us since they weren't dead at the time?

No matter how many times I ask myself these questions, there are never any clear answers.

I barely slept last night. When I did, I dreamed of Luca. But this time, it wasn't the normal dreams I typically have. It was of him and Zara. She was getting married, and he was walking her down the aisle. But I still felt like an outsider.

I woke up in tears.

So while I am happy Zara has her father in her life, I've never felt so alone or scared.

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