Page 43 of Committed to You

“How did I not see this? I honestly thought no one was getting hurt.” I assumed that because everyone knew the deal, it was black and white. I’m starting to see there’s a lot of gray area.

“We saw you change. When Jennifer and Matt did that to you, we all saw your heart break. But you need to let it go. It’s been eight years,” Xander tells me.

I start to laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’ve been holding onto twelve years with Billie.”

Xander groans. “Don’t remind me. Take it from me, get over it sooner rather than later. All I did was hurt Charlotte more. I’m assuming you’re calling me because of Vivian?”

“Yeah. She laid it on the line tonight.”

“Well, get your shit together. A girl like her doesn’t come around twice.”

“I can’t argue about that.”

“Here’s another thing to think about. Your problem was never committing. It was that you picked the wrong girl to commit to. Don’t hold Jennifer’s actions against Vivian. That’s not fair.”

“I’m such an idiot.”

“No you aren’t, but if you mess this up going forward, then I’ll be the first to tell you.”

“Noted.”

“Well, I’m going to let you go, and I’ll try to reach Charlotte again. I’m sure I’ll have a restraining order on me by tomorrow since I’ve called her so much.”

“Good luck, man. Let me know if I can do anything.”

“Thanks. You, too.”

I hang up and think about what Xander said.

It’s true. I never had a commitment problem. Jennifer had a commitment problem. I gave my trust to the wrong girl.

But how do I know Vivian isn’t going to do the same thing?

Her face comes into my mind. All the times I’ve tried to draw her into a relationship with me on my terms, and even though she wants to be with me, she’s always pushed back at it.

She doesn’t want to be a number, and I finally see why she thinks she is.

Vivian is special. I knew it when I first laid eyes on her. She’s never been a number to me, but I’ve given her no reason to trust or believe me.

I cringe once more, pick up the phone, and text Vivian. “Can I come over so we can talk?”

“No.”

“Please. We need to talk.”

“No. And don’t just show up. I won’t let you in.”

“Can I FaceTime you, then?”

“No. Not tonight.”

“Vivian, please.”

“Chase, we’ve both been drinking, and I work tomorrow. Just let it be. If you still want to, you can talk to me on Friday.”

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