Page 44 of Committed to You

“That’s almost a week away.”

“Yeah. Let’s take a break.”

“I’ve screwed up. I know I have. Let’s talk.”

“Ineeda break. Can you, for once, just let me have my way?”

Shit, shit, shit!

“Okay. You win. We will talk on Friday.”

“Thanks. Safe travels.”

“XOXO,” I send her, but I don’t get anything back.

I stay up all night creating a list of anyone I can think of I’ve ever had a friend-with-benefits relationship with and break it out into columns.

Those I can send a text message to that I’m done.

Those I need to call.

Those I should have a face-to-face conversation with.

Looking at the list, I realize I’ve been a complete whore for the last eight years.

The girls in the text message column I probably don’t need to really send anything to since it’s been so long since I’ve seen them, but I do it anyway. I write, “Hey! I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. I hope you are doing well. I want to let you know that I’m changing my ways and won’t be hanging out with anyone anymore unless it’s my girlfriend.”

Technically, Vivian isn’t my girlfriend, but that’s my hope.

I get a lot of messages back.

“You’re such a dickhead.”

“Aw, I’m so happy for you!”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“And my care factor is what?”

“You’re still playing around at your age?”

“I’m not sure who this is, but don’t ever contact my wife again.”

The messages surprise me, and I realize that Vivian was right. I hurt a lot of girls. And the last eight years of my life have been full of meaningless relationships. My self-loathing grows.

It’s too late to call people, so I put the list in my suitcase and decide I’ll finish it off before Friday. That way, when I see Vivian next, I’ll be 100 percent hers, and there will be no question in her mind about my commitment to her.

At least, that is the plan. Sometimes plans don’t always work out the way we imagine they will.

10

Vivian

“Sign here,and we’ll be all set.” My phone rings for the third time. I send it to voice mail.

Misty, my new client, signs and laughs. “Someone is trying to get ahold of you. Why don’t you take it?”

“I’m sorry about the interruption. It’s no one important.”

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