Page 51 of Committed to You

Oh, don’t worry, I will. Why wouldn’t Noah tell me?

Another thought occurs to me. “Who’s taking Vivian?”

He shrugs. “Didn’t ask.”

I grab my phone and turn it on, pay for the airline Internet, and text Noah. “Why didn’t you tell me about Vivian’s award?”

“We should talk, not text about this.”

“I’m on a plane.”

“Chase, let’s talk when you land.”

“Fine. But what is the award for?”

He sends me a link. I click on it and wait as the Internet page slowly pops up.

Mayor Announces NewUrban Development Award

New to the Chicago Annual Awards Gala is the Urban Development Award. This award is to honor a community member who has made an outstanding impact in the community with a direct correlation to improved urban development.

Ms. Vivian Caras, a real estate agent and City of Chicago resident, will receive the inaugural award. Vivian is honored for spearheading the Urban Rehab Initiative, which takes older buildings and rehabs them into living spaces for low-income families. In the last two years, Ms. Caras has raised money and been the lead on seven different buildings, creating housing for over three thousand families, including five-hundred-plus families who were homeless.

When asked how she finds each building, Ms. Caras says, “I see potential where others see destruction.”

I sit backin my seat.Holy shit.I read the article several more times. Creating an initiative is hard enough. Finding funds to rehab one older building is a job in itself. Seven buildings in two years…even the most astute developer would be challenged by that.

An emotion I haven’t felt in a long time consumes me.

Pride.

I’m so proud of her and sick all at once. The article was dated two months ago. She never told me.Why didn’t she tell me?

I start scrolling through our messages again, and it becomes clear.

Everything is always about me unless I’m hitting on her. I’m constantly pulling her back into my toxicity.

On the day the news article came out, I texted her, “How was your day?”

She replied, “Pretty exciting.”

“Glad someone had an exciting day. I’ve been in court all day.”

“Court? You okay?”

“Yep. Just forgot to pay a parking ticket, so my forgetfulness cost me four hours of my life I’ll never get back.”

“Glad you’re okay.”

“Hey, someone’s at my door. I gotta go.”

She never responded. It was a Thursday. My gut drops, as she probably thought it was Meredith. It wasn’t, but I’m sure that’s what she assumed. And I never asked her what was exciting about her day.

How can she feel anything toward me? I’ve not earned one ounce of her affection.

The remainder of the flight, I fall further into introspection, seeing so many things I’ve done wrong regarding Vivian.

My driver is waiting against the curb when I get outside the airport. As soon as Jamison and I get into the car, I dial Noah.

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