Page 54 of Committed to You

Vivian

“Get some sleep.You have a big week. I’m really proud of you. You’re the most amazing woman I know. XOXO. PS - Don’t respond to this; just go to sleep.”

I read the email over and over.What is Chase talking about? Big week?

Then it hits me. Chase must be referring to his deals. He knows that he’ll be my biggest client.

After tossing and turning all night, I give up on trying to get any more rest before my alarm rings. I text Xander, asking how Charlotte is, and he informs me that she’s sleeping and doing well.

Around six, Piper texts me. “Coffee before work?”

“Sure. Meet me at seven?”

“Yes.”

“Your building?”

“Sure.”

I get ready and leave. I arrive at the coffee shop first and sit in a booth, thinking about how screwed up things are between Chase and me.

“I’m going to make this right between us,” Chase had said. But what does that mean? Can things ever be right between us again?

He asked me if I’d let him make it right, and I agreed, but what did I agree to? Since I met Chase, my life is in a constant state of limbo. Are we friends or more than friends? Does he feel anything for me beyond wanting to just have sex with me?

But it doesn’t matter because he’ll never let you be more than one of his girls.

Once again, Chase has me in a holding pattern, and I curse him in my head. The toxic scenario I’m in with him needs to stop, and I’m going to tell him that on Friday. From this point forward, it’s friends and professional relationship only.

No touching.

No hugging.

No kissing.

No sleepovers.

Boundaries. That is what I’ll set with Chase, and he should understand it since he is so good at putting them up in his relationships.

Why does it have to hurt so much? Why do I have to love someone who won’t love me back?

I’ve pushed it away for so long, telling myself I don’t love him, but I do. And I can’t lie to myself anymore.

The pain of loving him and knowing that he can’t return my love is another cut in my heart.

I’m blinking tears away when Piper sneaks up on me. I almost spill my coffee.

“Vivian? Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

I wipe away the tear that escaped my eye.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on.” She grabs my hand.

“I can’t do it anymore.”

“Do what?” she asks.

“Keep waiting for Chase to get rid of his girls and want to be with just me.”

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