Page 111 of More than Paper

I put a smile on my face. “Sure.”

Jamison kisses me, and the car pulls up to the curb. The driver opens our door, Jamison gets out and escorts me inside. We spot Noah and Piper talking to Chase, Vivian, and her parents. Xander and Charlotte sneak up behind us, and within a few minutes, the guys head off to get us drinks from the bar.

Vivian’s mom points to Jamison at the bar. In her broken English she asks, “Quinn, look good together. You be serious with him?”

I don’t know why I lie to her, but I do. Even though I told Jamison the previous week that I wouldn’t keep us a secret anymore, I automatically say, “We’re just friends.”

Her brows furrow. “Oh? Too bad. You make gorgeous babies!”

Vivian’s mom is obsessed with having grandbabies right now.

I smile big.We would have cute kids. Jamison would be a great dad.

Vivian’s mom points at me. “Ah. That smile of love, not only friend.”

Heat floods my face. I can’t deny it.

“Wedding first. Then babies!” Her eyes sparkle.

No wedding. Babies? They would be illegitimate like me.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.

My entire life, I’ve detested the fact that my parents weren’t married, and unlike the other kids at school who had their father’s name, my brother and I had our mother’s.

Steven and I had gone to a private school on scholarships. Almost all the kids had parents together. Those who didn’t still had both parents involved in their life. We never knew who our father was, and it was something the rich kids taunted us with. We had been called every name in the book by school kids. Bastard. Illegitimate. Impure. Lovechild. Sinners spawn.

Too many tears were shed over the years. While my brother never cried in front of me, I heard him often enough through the paper-thin walls of our bedrooms, crying himself to sleep.

Shame. Guilt. Embarrassment. They were all constant emotions my brother and I felt, even though the choices of my mother should only be hers.

But they aren’t. They are our cross to bear as well. And we paid the price over and over.

I excuse myself and head to the ladies’ room. No one else is there. I stare in the mirror.

All I see is my mother.

I love Jamison. My world feels lost and empty without him. He makes me feel alive and cherished. I want to spend every second of the rest of my life with him.

But at what cost?

We will never be married. You can never have kids with him. It’s not fair to them.

I close my eyes, breathing in and out, trying to calm the flipping of my gut as reality crashes into me.

Since I can remember, I’ve wanted a family: a real husband and lots of children.

You will never have it with Jamison. You’ll always be the mistress—the second priority after his wife.

When I open my eyes, my reflection somehow seems different than before.

Life is about reality, not the dream, Quinn. You can’t have it all.

Someone walks into the bathroom, snapping me out of my thoughts. I wash my hands and dry them, then leave the bathroom.

Jamison is waiting for me in the hall, holding two glasses of champagne. “Hey, doll. Everything okay?”

My heart beats quicker. The love I feel for him is undeniable. It’s a power I don’t know how to stop. “Yeah. Thanks.” I grab the glass and throw half of it back.

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