Page 132 of More than Paper

A wave of guilt rolls through me. “I feel bad that I was jealous of her relationship with Jamison. If I hadn’t made such a big deal about their marriage, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“This isn’t your fault. Don’t you know I’ve been after Valeria to get out from under her father’s grasp? I’ve pressured her to get divorced so we could marry for years. Don’t take all the credit.” She winks.

“Really?”

“Yes. And I’ve had my moments where I was jealous of her relationship with Jamison. But, over time, I saw how he protects her and cares about her. She thinks the world of him. He saved her from a horrible life. It took me a while, but I realized that few people in the world truly care about you, so I decided I was going to be happy that the person I loved had someone else in their life that was a genuine friend.”

“That’s a good way to think about it.”

“Jamison also would do anything for me and I for him. So I gained another good person in my life.”

I rise and grab the pregnancy test kit. “Duty calls.”

“Take your time. Do you like ravioli?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll start dinner.”

I shut the bathroom door, pee on the stick then put the cap back on it.

Two minutes. Two minutes to know if my life is forever changed.

I don’t need to look at the stick. My gut is telling me I’m pregnant.

I wash my hands, put the stick on a stack of paper towels, and come back out to the living room.

I set the stack of paper towels on the island and look at Cindy. “You want to do the honors?”

She wipes her hands on a dishtowel and comes to the other side of the island. She picks up the stick. “Do you want to have a boy or a girl?”

28

Jamison

Valeria’s headis on my pillow.

“Morning,” I say.

She puts her finger over my mouth and her lips to my ear. “We have to leave. Today.”

I mouth, “Not ready yet.”

“You’re getting too far in,” she murmurs in my ear.

I close my eyes. I’m in way further than I ever imagined I would be. At this point, I’m starting to understand how a man can sell his soul to the devil.

It’s way easier than I ever thought possible.

A little favor here, payment for services there, and voilà, you’re knee-deep in a shit show.

And then you don’t have to feel the guilt.

While my intentions have not changed, trying to gain Alejandro and Santiago’s trust to find out what is going on between them has me doing things I never thought possible.

Two weeks ago, I stood by Alejandro’s side while he had his men torture a guy and then cut his finger off. And I stood there and didn’t flinch, swallowing bile and praying Alejandro wouldn’t see my discomfort.

The prior week, I witnessed a man being beaten for not paying the equivalent of a twenty-dollar bill. More bile, and this time, it was Santiago who stood by my side.

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