Page 114 of Wrapped in Perfection

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"I've already told you why I can't."

"No. You said I would never be able to love you. I already do. So your fear is not valid anymore. And you expose every layer of me so I have no secrets from you. Every insecurity and flaw in me, you are privy to. And I trust you with all of it. You require I do this, or there is no us. You didn't even give me a day into our relationship to give you my full trust. And I did. I chose you. Yet, you don't believe in my love for you enough to handle whatever it is you're hiding."

I close my eyes and try to figure out how to make this right. She's right about everything, except one thing. She loves the man she knows, not the one raging at times inside me. And that man isn't worthy of her love.

If I weren't selfish, I would never have attempted to make her mine. But there isn't a part of her I can't imagine not having in my life. And her love feels so good, I can't give it up.

The car stops, and the driver opens the door. I step out and reach for her. She takes my hand, and I tug her into me. I palm her ass and head. I lock my eyes onto her blue ones. "You are my everything."

"I know. And you are mine. All of you. Why can't you trust me?"

"I do, kotik." I kiss her. "Let's go eat. We will talk more about this later."

It's a lie, and I cringe inside. I don't plan on ever talking to her about who I am or how the Ivanov brothers got where we currently are. And I don't want her to ever know what any of us have already proven.

23

Anna

Most of the time,I don't dwell on the secret lingering between Dmitri and me. Sometimes, it stirs. The same voice in my head telling me Mitch was cheating on me and I should leave him says Dmitri needs to tell me his secret.

I couldn't turn the voice off when it was about Mitch. I can't turn it off now. And I don't believe anything Dmitri can tell me could change my love for him.

Mitch's secrets hurt me. Dmitri's do, too, but in a different way. If I look back, I was constantly trying to get Mitch to love and approve of me. I don't have to try with Dmitri. I know he adores me and would do anything to protect me.

The hurt comes from the hatred for himself that fills his eyes whenever the topic comes up. And the inability for him to believe in my love for him.

I know he's a dangerous man. I don't think he's the type who pays others to take care of issues. If this is true, then he's a violent man. And while I grew up in a bubble, Mitch taught me about the evil residing in a violent man.

So I should run from Dmitri. But I don't believe he would ever harm me. And while Mitch was violent without cause, my gut tells me Dmitri wouldn't hurt anyone unless there was some reason justifying it.

And that's another way I've changed. I never thought assault could be justified. I assumed it was always wrong. But something changed in me when I got away from Mitch. I would never have been strong enough to overpower him. His threats to find me in Chicago were always in the back of my mind. So I find peace in whatever Dmitri and Boris did to him. A part of me hopes they inflicted more pain than what he did to me. And if these are my thoughts and wishes, how is Dmitri any worse of a person than I am?

He says we will talk later, but I don't have confidence we will. There are too many people around, so I drop it for now.

Dmitri escorts me through the restaurant to the back. His brothers are already seated with women. I've never met any of them before, and I'm not sure if they are girlfriends or casual dates.

Maksim, Boris, and Sergey rise when we approach them. They all hug me and kiss my cheek, telling me I look nice. Dmitri does the same to the women they are with, and we are all introduced.

Maksim brought a woman named Jade. She's a beautiful Asian woman with flawless skin and black hair. It hits her chin in an edgy bob. She's half the size of Maksim but has a cold air about her, as if she'd slice you to pieces with her stare alone should you mess with her.

Boris's date is a red-haired woman named Nora. Her hair is long and curly. She blushes a lot and nervously glances at Boris often, as if looking for his permission or she's unsure of him. I can't figure out which.

Sergey's date is a beautiful black woman named Eloise. She's tall and so stunning, I wonder if she's a runway model. Her French accent is thick and she rolls her dark eyes from time to time, as if annoyed at his attention.

Dmitri pulls out my chair. I sit next to Nora, and Dmitri sits next to Maksim. Dmitri's arm is around me, but he's pulled into a conversation with Maksim.

I turn to Nora. "Are you from here?"

Nora nods. "Yes. I've lived here my entire life. You?"

"I just moved from New York City."

Her face lights up. "I love it there. What made you move?"

It's a question I get asked often, and I am learning to answer it better. The first few times someone asked me, I stuttered, trying to figure out how to answer it. But now I ignore the increase in my pulse. "My brother and his wife live here. They are having a baby, and I thought it would be nice to be near them."

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