Page 122 of Wrapped in Perfection

I spin into her. "This is violent. I don't want you to know about it."

She cups my cheeks. "Yes. It is. And you must continue. What happened?"

I place my hands over hers and remove them from my cheeks, holding them to my chest. "We had a choice. Leave or earn our mother back. We chose our mother. And that night, we were all given a man to torture and spilt to shreds with a knife. One of Zamir's thugs would do something to the man assigned to him who sat helpless in the chair. We would each have to replicate that torture on the man Zamir declared as ours. Our mother watched for hours as each of her sons slowly stole the last breath of air and drop of blood from a stranger."

Anna's eyes glisten. The color in her cheeks disappears. I'm sure I've now lost her. If I haven't, the rest will be the final blow. But I'm too far in. The rest of the truth now has to come out.

"That night wasn't the end of it. They kept our mother. We had ten jobs each to do. Each incident, our mother was tied to the chair and gagged. After the fourth evening, my mother stopped crying when she saw what we did. When we finally got her back, Zamir made it clear he owned us. We were still in debt to him. The men we killed were only to pay for my mother. For years, we tortured and killed men for him."

Anna swallows hard. "So, you are in the Russian mafia?"

"It's not black-and-white, Anna."

She furrows her brows. "Explain it to me."

I release her wrists and pace the room. "Boris got into betting. He has a knack and somehow almost always wins. We didn't know about it. He was only twenty-two, and he won over fifteen million dollars one night in Vegas. When he came back, he used it to his advantage."

"How?"

"He went to Zamir. Our freedom for ten million dollars. And anyone with the Ivanov name was never to be touched again."

"Zamir agreed?"

I shake my head and turn to her. "Not entirely. Boris will never be free. He is a master at what Zamir's thug taught us to do. He has control others don't, including me. Zamir saw it. Once a year, Zamir calls on him. He owns him on those nights. Until Boris or Zamir dies, the agreement will not cease. And it will always tie our family to the mob. No matter how many people we help, or how legitimate our businesses are, we are still part of it. We cannot escape it. And Zamir is always looking for a way to pull us all back in."

Anna bites on her lip, and her head bobs in tiny movements. Minutes feel like hours. Silence and the air are thick, suffocating my every breath and thought, except for the fear I'll never see my kotik again after this night.

"Why didn't Boris offer him the other five million for his freedom?"

My gut pitches. "In some ways, Boris and Zamir are the same. He understands how Zamir thinks, and even at twenty-two, he knew Zamir would never allow him out. He kept the money so our family could have a future and never have to rely on anyone else again. He gave the five million to Maksim, and we bought properties with it. For years, we didn't use a dime and lived on scraps, reinvesting everything and only hiring Russians so we could prevent others from having to rely on Zamir."

Anna tilts her head. "Where is your mother now?"

I close my eyes. "She passed shortly after we got her back. She couldn't handle the guilt of what she did and..." I squeeze my eyelids tighter.

Anna's hands are on my cheeks, but I can't finish. She whispers, "Did she kill herself?"

I nod.

Anna wraps her body around mine, and the perfection of her almost destroys me. I don't dare open my eyes for fear I will break down.

She pulls my head down and kisses me. I don't expect it. I shouldn't allow it and should stop her from ever touching me again. Now that the truth has been spoken, she should run. I was foolish to assume I could keep every part of me separate and not taint her.

No past, no future.I know better.

"Anna—"

She shuts me up by sliding her tongue in my mouth, hot, possessive, as if we're in a famine, and I'm the only piece of meat around. Her hand glides over my head, holding it firmly to her, and she unfastens the buttons of my shirt, pushing it off me.

"An—"

"I still love and need you." She goes back to kissing me, encasing me into the world I want with her.

My body responds, thirsty for every part of her and me, the beautiful mix of us that doesn't exist outside of our proximity.

And I want the life I've been living with her. I'm not sure how to move forward with her, now that she knows who I am, but I can't stop my body from responding to hers.

Our clothes get shed. We end up next to the window, and I pick her up, holding her against the glass, entering her in one thrust.

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