Page 55 of Wrapped in Perfection

"You are nothing like him. But I don't want to make the same mistakes."

I try to understand where she is coming from and why she's telling me this. But it feels like she's putting me in the same box as her ex.

"So, you're never going to trust me, then?"

"You aren't listening to what I'm telling you."

I move her off my lap. "I am. But I also know what kind of man I am. I'm not going to change. I take care of my woman. I give her my trust, and I expect hers in return. I'm not sure how this will work between us if you can't do that."

She bites on her lip and tilts her head.

I put my hand on her cheek. "I don't want to keep going around about this. As much as I want you, kotik, I'm a forty-three-year-old man. I'm not a boy. I won't change. My job is to take care of you how I see fit, and if I can't, this won't work between us. It's the one thing I know I can't compromise on. I'm sorry."

"Dmitri—"

To torture myself, I kiss her. "You are beautiful and talented. Everything about you is rare and unique. But if I can't be the man I know how to be, then we're living in a lie. And neither of us deserves that."

Her blue eyes glisten. I get up and leave the room, not able to look at her anymore, worried I'm going to cave. If I do, we'll only draw out the inevitable and hurt ourselves worse.

When I get into the bedroom, I stare at the fireplace. When I glance at the bed, it mocks me. I wonder how so much can go wrong in a matter of minutes.

But I know myself. I can't be in a relationship if there isn't trust. If I'm not allowed to make decisions on her behalf to help her, we'll both end up miserable.

And no matter what she says, her lack of trust in me is due to him. I'm not going to change my core beliefs to make up for his mistakes.

I can't stare at the bed any longer, and the pain of seeing her is too much. So I go into the bathroom, turn on the shower, and lean my forearm against the cold tile. The hot water streams down my body as I grapple with my thoughts.

Am I being unfair?

No, I know myself. Trust is everything.

Maybe she needs more time?

We're setting ourselves up for heartache. It's a point I can't bend on.

She's your dream woman.

I'm always going to want to take care of her, and she's not going to let me.

Her arms slide around my waist and her body presses against my back.

I exhale and put my arm over hers. "Kotik—"

She kisses my back, and I close my eyes. "Don't let me go," she whispers.

It's so quiet, I question if I heard it. I spin and cup her cheeks. "I don't want to. You're everything I could ever want."

Her eyes fill with tears. "Then, don't toss me to the side."

"I'm not. I'm letting you go before I hurt you."

"It's too late. You're hurting me right now."

I palm her ass, tugging her closer to me, and hold her head so she can't avoid my eyes. "If we can't trust each other, what do we have? Hmm?"

"I never said I don't trust you."

"Anna—"

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