Page 42 of Judge Me Not

"Is that why you're part of the club?"

His jaw clenches.

"Sorry. Star said you don't usually...associate with the women."

His blue eyes darken. "No, I don't."

"Then why are you a member?"

He nervously shifts but doesn't take his eyes off mine. "It's the only bar in New York where I can have a drink and think. And when I'm doing business deals, I take the men there. You find out a lot about a person and what their weaknesses are at the club. They tend to agree to more things than they normally would."

My stomach flips, but I still ask him what I can't figure out. "If you don't normally do this, why do it with me?"

"It's not obvious?"

"No."

He motions for the waiter to come over. He takes my glass out of my hand and puts both his and mine on the tray. "Thanks," he says to the waiter then steps closer to me and cups my cheeks.

My butterflies take off.

He tilts my head and leans closer to my face. "I like you. I didn't want any other man to touch you. And I think I fucked it all up between us."

I inhale sharply.

"Did I?" His breath merges with mine, and his eyes drill into me, as if I am all he wants. I saw his possessiveness the prior night, but tonight it's laced with fear and regret.

Blood pounds in my ears. The music shuts off, and a man announces, "Please take your seats."

"We have to sit down," I murmur.

His face falls, and he releases me. He guides me to the front of the room and pulls out my chair. We sit with his mom and other people he introduces me to, but I struggle to pay attention.

He keeps his arm around me. I feel like I'm his and this could be real. That somehow, we could be together, and I could have a happily ever after. And I want him.

But after dinner, they show slides of children with cancer. Several families come on stage and speak to draw in donations. And while I love and appreciate what he and his mom are doing more than they'll ever know, it takes the broken pieces I've mended together too many times and throws bricks on them.

I struggle to breathe. I manage to hold it together so I don't have another breakdown in front of him and all these people, but it reminds me why I'm here.

I'm not here to find my happily ever after, or eat an expensive meal, or dance. I'm not here to fall in love.

I'm only here to save the person who deserves all of my love. My baby can't fight if I don't. And the only way to do that is by keeping my deal with Colton. I don't have the room to take risks. As much as I hate the fact I've become a desperate person for money, nothing has changed. I still have to pay twenty-five thousand dollars for ten to twelve treatments.

After the presentation, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Colton follows me. "Jasmine, are you okay?"

I manage to say, "Yes. I need a few minutes."

He hesitates, as if he knows something is wrong.

I force a smile. "I'll meet you at the table." I spin, go into the women's room, and lock myself in a stall.

I don't know why I don't tell him about Abby. But hearing all the stories about children who didn't make it because they couldn't afford treatment and how they might have lived if they had, tears at my heart. And it's already ripped into shreds. I'm not sure how much more it can take before there's nothing left of it.

I pull out my phone to check on Abby and see I missed a call and several text messages from Cee Cee. The last makes my heart almost stop.

Cee Cee:Meet me at the hospital. Abby's temperature came back, and it's over one hundred.

My body shakes.I've been drinking champagne all night while my baby was here, under my nose, ill again.

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