Page 49 of Judge Me Not

"Take a sip but go slow." I sit up and pull Abby with me.

She takes a few sips, and I kiss her bald head.

Cee Cee takes the cup back.

I ask Abby, "How do you feel?"

"Fine. Can we go home?"

"I need to speak with Dr. Plax."

Cee Cee rises. "Maribel is waiting to see Abby. Have her come back, and you talk with Dr. Plax."

I kiss Abby's head again and hug her. "I'll be back." I rise and go to the waiting room. Maribel and Caroline are playing a game of checkers. Colton is on his phone, in his day-old tux, still looking sexy as hell, pacing the room.

Maybe it won't be so bad being his prostitute.

What the hell am I saying?

At least he's the best kisser on the planet.

These thoughts aren't helping anything.

He sees me and hangs up. I turn away from him.

"Maribel, Abby's awake and wants to see you."

She jumps up. "Can we finish later?"

Caroline smiles and rises. She's still in her green dress from the night before. "Sure." She hugs me. It's warm and motherly. I haven't felt anything like it since before my mom died, and it catches me off guard. I return her hug. She puts her hands on my shoulders. "How are you holding up?"

It's a loaded question. I see in her eyes she understands everything I'm going through. I've seen it with other mothers I've gotten to know whose children have cancer. I don't give her my standard answer of "okay." Something tells me not to lie to her. "I feel like I'm a window that's had a baseball thrown through it. But I'm also one ball away before the glass shatters into millions of pieces."

Her sympathetic smile doesn't feel like some I've received. It's not full of pity. It's a level of compassion and knowledge that others don't have. They can't. They've not been in my shoes, but she has.

"I'll tell you a secret," she says.

"Please. Enlighten me." I attempt a smile.

"When the baseballs come flying, and the shards fly everywhere, it's okay to let others sweep them up." She leans closer. "Even if sometimes they're idiots and don't make the best decisions."

Oh God. Does she know what I agreed to do?

My face burns in embarrassment.

She hugs me again. "I'm going to go home for a few hours. I'll be back later. Colton will give you my number. You call me if you need anything. Even if it's just to talk."

"Thank you."

She squeezes my hand, pats Colton on the shoulder, then mumbles something in his ear I can't hear. He takes a deep breath and comes over to me.

"Please tell me your mom doesn't know about—"

"She doesn't."

"But she said—"

"I told her I was the world's biggest idiot, did something incredibly stupid, and wasn't sure how you would ever forgive me. I didn't go into details, and she didn't pry."

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