Page 6 of Judge Me Not

She puts her card in front of me.

I hesitate but finally take it.

She gently pats me on the back and leaves.

I go into the bathroom, clean up my eye makeup as best as I can, and sigh. The reflection in the mirror isn't anyone I recognize anymore. I don't know what Star sees in me. All I feel is old and exhausted.

I take her card out of my pocket. It feels like velvet. There isn't a business name on it, only Star Vintage, an address in Upper Manhattan, and a phone number. The writing is all in raised gold.

I'm not sure what she does or who she is. I'm sure whatever she's involved in isn't anything I've ever done before.

I return to my work area, focus on customers, and avoid answering anything Karla asks me. She wants to know what Star wanted, but I'm not sure what to tell her.

Can I make enough money to pay for Abby's treatment?

I'm never going to do it here.

Abby might die while I'm slinging makeup.

I walk right out from behind the counter and go into the bathroom stall when that thought hits me. It's one I try to push out of my mind whenever I think about how much time I'm not spending with Abby. But everything Star said, I relate to. Maybe too much. I have a complete breakdown and try to quiet my sobs.

Whatever Star's involved in can't be good. I need to stay away. For the rest of my shift and on the multiple bus rides home, I tell myself I won't go.

Then I walk in and see Abby, curled up in blankets, having a bad day compared to yesterday. And the resolve to do whatever it takes to help her heal comes back.

3

Jasmine

Cee Cee'stwenty questions only get more intense the vaguer I am. She puts her hand on her hip. "Maribel, go watch TV with Abby."

"I don't want you to go out tonight, Mommy," Abby says, breaking my heart further.

I hug Abby, squeezing her shoulder, and force a smile. "I wish I didn't have to. But tomorrow night, after I get home from work, we'll play all night, okay?"

Abby nods in disappointment and follows Maribel to the family room.

Cee Cee clears their plates and sits next to me. She leans toward me with her elbow on the table. "Where are you going? And don't lie to me. Do you have a date or something?"

"No! When do I ever date?"

"What else can it be?"

"I told you. I have a job interview."

"At night?"

I glance out at the girls. The TV is on, and Abby's head is on Maribel's lap. I turn back to Cee Cee. "I met this woman today. She said I could make more than five-thousand dollars a night."

"Doing what?" Cee Cee cries out.

"Shh." I glance back, but the girls aren't paying attention to us. "I'm not sure. But it's not prostitution—"

"Is it drug dealing?"

"No!"

Cee Cee raises her eyebrows.

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