Page 140 of Depths of Destruction
"No."
"Andre—"
I pull her nightgown over her head and spin her so her back is toward the mirror.
"What are you doing?"
I grab the handheld mirror from the counter and hold it in front of her. "Take it."
She doesn't move.
"Take it," I say through gritted teeth.
She recoils.
I almost apologize but don't. Instead, I wave the mirror in front of her again for her to hold. I sternly say, "Take the mirror."
She swallows hard and slowly reaches for it.
Within minutes, I have her bandages removed, so her ripped flesh is exposed. "Look at it."
Her eyes are closed, and she holds the mirror against her chest. "I don't want to."
I reach for her hand and move the mirror in front of her face. "Look."
A tear trickles through her closed eyelids and down her cheek. She whispers, "Why are you doing this?"
"You seem to have forgotten what those monsters did to you."
"You think I can forget? Tell me how to do that, and I gladly will."
"You're acting as if you have."
"I haven't. Stop being cruel," she cries out.
"Open your eyes."
She keeps them closed, and another tear rolls down her cheek. She trembles. "Don't make me look."
What am I doing?
She needs to remember why we're leaving.
But at what cost?
I take the mirror from her and place it on the counter. I step in front of her and cup her cheeks. "Look at me."
She opens her eyes.
"There's a time and place for everything. This is not the time to go running back into Belize. I almost lost you, and I won't allow it to ever happen again. Do you understand me?"
She doesn't answer.
"If they capture you again, they won't torture you. They will kill you."
Her body trembles and she closes her eyes. Her face scrunches in pain.
"I understand you're trying to feel like your old self, but right now, you aren't. If you were, you would realize now is not the time."
