Page 71 of Cavern of Silence
His words create a new river of tears, and I can only nod.
I want to tell him everything I'm thinking and feeling about him, but I can't. I'm too choked up.
He kisses me again and wipes my cheeks. "Okay, baby. Can you help me with this address?"
I pull myself together. At least this is one thing I won't screw up.
12
Ryker
No oneelse is in the store except for the cashier, who's across the room and watching the television on the wall. There's an area with several phones, and Julieta thumbs through the phone book, then scribbles down the address. I kiss her. "Glad you make up for the skills I lack."
She smiles, but it looks forced. Sad eyes avoid mine, and I cringe inside again for how I reacted.
You snap too easily, Maureen's voice is in my head again.
All the years we were married, and I still struggle with dealing with my fears. Even when Maureen would warn me before going into a doctor's appointment, I would let her down. The way they would diagnose her but never give us concrete solutions only fed my trepidation of the worst-case scenario. In almost every appointment, I would bite the doctor's head off and end up apologizing all night to Maureen.
All I wanted was for them to tell me how to protect her and help her heal, but they never had answers. Since Maureen died, I haven't felt the fear anymore.
Then Julieta entered my life. All I want is to protect her and make her happy. But I'm failing.
I'm not sure how to shield her from Hunter's constant doubt or nasty comments. Every time he talks, I see the disappointment on Julieta's face. She's trying hard to be kind to him, and he won't back down. And I've not succeeded at stopping him from lashing out.
What kind of man am I if I can't even protect her from my friend, who I consider a brother?
Watching those men frisk Julieta and then stick their hands in her pocket made my blood boil and increased my angst.
I started to put my hands down to go after her, but Hunter growled, "Don't do something stupid," and I froze.
Feeling helpless is something I know too well. It's a state of being I hate. I loathe myself when it comes up. Since Maureen took her last breath, I haven't felt it. Grief replaced it, and I didn't even realize it. But in the last few days, it's reared its ugly head, and I detest it even more.
I tug Julieta into my arms. "Hey."
"Hmm?"
"I really am sorry."
"You don't have anything to apologize for. I messed up, not you."
"No, you didn't. You couldn't have known."
"It's been over four years since I last crossed. I should have thought about things that could be different. I assumed everything was the same, and I know better. Everything has changed. It was irresponsible of me not to think, and everyone could have died."
I sternly reiterate, "It's not your fault."
She sighs and avoids my gaze.
I tilt her chin so she can't ignore me. "You got us to Omoa. Hunter and I had no idea how to get here. Thank you."
"But I almost got us all killed," she whispers.
"We could have had any bad scenario you can think of occur. But it didn't because you helped us. Give yourself credit."
She blinks hard.
I wiggle my eyebrows. "Plus, we got some nice amenities last night."
