Page 78 of Stains of Desire
"I'm not judging you. And I'm pretty sure Millie's dad knew you were the one."
I straighten in the seat and stare at the trees, which are a blur of green and browns.
"I thought I would have kids. If you're asking if I wanted them, the answer is yes. If you're wondering if I like them, the answer is yes again," he says.
I turn back, and he locks eyes with mine.
"Okay. Sorry if I sounded judgy."
He takes my hand. "We're good. I'm sure as a mother, it's important you understand how your man feels about children."
My man.A spark of happiness jolts through me.
"Have you dated any mums before?"
"Two."
"Was it hard when you broke up? On the children? Or you?"
"I didn't meet either of their children."
My pulse increases. "Why?"
"One had the rule she wouldn't introduce her kids to anyone unless she dated them for six months. We only made it four."
"And the other?"
"She wanted me to meet them after our second date, but I refused to. I didn't want to come into their life if I wasn't serious about their mother. We only went on a few dates after that."
I shift in my seat. "So if I met you in different circumstances and Millie wasn't missing, how many dates would it take before you would be comfortable meeting her?"
"One."
"One?" I tilt my head.
He raises his eyebrows and turns toward me. "Did I not make it clear yesterday I'm serious about you?"
My flutters take off.
"You did."
"But you don't believe me?"
"More like trying to wrap my head around it."
"Okay. Let me ask you. How many dates would I have to take you on before you would want to introduce Millie to me?"
I stay quiet for several moments. "I'm not sure. I didn't date anyone after Oliver died. Millie was only a year when I moved to Panama City and then William..." My flutters turn to nausea, thinking about my relationship with William.
He kisses my hand. "Are you worried about me being in Millie's life when we find her?"
He says it with such certainty, as if there is no possibility he won't be. It stuns me for a moment.
It shouldn't. He told me he didn't want a fling. He's promised to rescue my child. But his absolute certainty about us chokes me up.
I spent years with a man who destroyed me, day after day. He held my child over my head and only saw her as a nuisance. His demands were always selfish. Anything I did was for his benefit. And my self-respect and self-worth were slowly diminished.
Axel, like William, wants me. But it's the only similarity. Everything he has done in the short time I've known him has been for me. He would never admit it, but he's sacrificed his life for me. And the moment he found out about Millie, he pledged to find her.
