Page 113 of Fake Love

Of course I’m pissed. She can’t seem to catch a fucking break. First were the tumors, then the fucking cold that landed her in the hospital and now there’s a new tumor that has popped up?

Fuck that.

If my mom lost her hope before, she sure as hell will never get it back now.

“In order to do the test, yes, we will have to perform surgery to not only get a biopsy but to also get a look at it. See its size, if it's hitting anything major. We need to see things that a scan wont tell us.”

This is a repeat of what my mom went through last year.

After she was told that she had the tumors and doctors noticed growth, she went through this exact thing. Her skull was opened and for a few weeks after she had a bald spot that she would try to hide in any way she could.

That’s when they found that the tumors she had were cancerous.

And it's possible that this one is too.

I stand up, my whole body becoming defensive.

“And what happens if you don’t do the biopsy?”

Last time, mom went into depression waiting for the results. She wouldn’t leave the house, she wouldn’t eat, she wouldn’t do anything because of the fear. She had to depend on her neighbor for a lot of things since I was playing.

If she goes through the testing again, she might fall under the same cloud once more.

“We can monitor it. Do scans every few weeks and keep a close eye on it. But given your mom’s history, it’s best to know what we are dealing with. That way, we can fight this the best way we can.”

I look down at my mom and all I see is a blank look on her face. Nothing is telling me what she is thinking or feeling.

She’s scared I know she is, especially with everything that has happened these last few days.

“When would the biopsy happen?” I asks.

“Maddox.” Jen’s voices quietly from behind me. “That’s not your choice to make.”

I turn to the woman that has become one of the most important individuals in my life and see the tears that are starting to form in her eyes.

All of this is scaring her and the fact that I can see it with my own eyes that she is worried about my mom, makes me love her even more.

“She’s right,” the doctor says, nodding towards Jen when I make eye contact. “It’s Nora’s decision if we go through the testing or not. We will proceed with whatever choice she decides.”

We all stare down at her.

She still has a blank expression, completely zoned out.

Scooting the chair I was just in closer to the bed, I sit down and take her hand in mine.

“Ma, what do you want to do?” I ask her, rubbing small circles against her dry skin.

She doesn’t turn to look at me, she just continues to stare out into space as if nothing else around her didn't exist.

“Ma.” I say a little more forcefully, and this time she turns to look at me, but her eyes don’t tell me anything. The only things saving me right now is the fact that Jen’s hands lands on my shoulder. “What do you want to do?”

She holds my stare for a minute. For a solid minute, I look into my mother’s eyes and see nothing but the woman that raised me. The woman that gave me her name and everything she had to get me to this point in my life.

I can’t lose her.

“No,” She says.

Just a simple no.

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