Page 21 of Fake Love

“Really?” I ask through the lump in my throat.

This is news that I’ve been waiting for since that fateful day last year.

“Yes, really. The doctors want to check for a few more months before they want to say anything final, but they are optimistic. I just don’t know if I should be too.” My mom has always been the hopeful one out of the two of us, and not hearing hope in her voice now, terrifies me.

And she has every right not to have a little faith right now. For over a year, she has been fighting this disease and at first, she was always hopeful. Especially because the doctors found the tumors when there were only at a stage two and had very little possibility of not being cancerous.

But of course, that all faded when the tumor did grow, and Ma went from stage two to stage three. The light that held onto that hope, faded right away when the news came.

I try to collect myself as best as I can before I give her a response.

“I get it, Ma. I do, but you’ve gotten so far. It’s okay to have a little hope in this. I have it.”

“Do you, now?” She asks, teasing me a bit, because once again she’s the hopeful one in this family, not me.

“I do. You will get out of this, Ma, I know it. You’ll get out of this and in a few years, you’ll be having dinner with my new wife who will be pregnant with my kid.”

I try my hardest not to let out a groan at the scenario, but anything to please this woman.

“You know, I would be a lot happier if that happened now.” I guess I opened that door back up for myself. “Especially now that you’re in a new city all by yourself.”

“I can take care of myself, Ma.”

“Didn’t say you couldn’t. All I’m saying is that it would be nice to be able to sleep at night knowing that there is someone out there that cares about you and watches out for you if you ever decide to sink down again.”

Sink down.

That’s what she calls my spiral after finding out her diagnosis. A sinking ship she called it when she found out that I had developed a friendly relationship with the hateful nose candy.

It took me a lot to realize just how much I was hurting her watching me spiral like that, and I vowed when I got out of rehab that I will never put her through that again.

“Not making any promises but I will see what I can do about finding that person you are requesting.” I say, lying straight through my teeth.

Sure, I’ll look for someone, but not right now. Right now, I need to concentrate on getting back to my game and to the level I once was.

“If you find her, I want to meet her right away.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever you say, Ma.”

She lets out a laugh knowing I’m full of shit, but not calling me out on it. “Alright my sweet boy. I will let you go so you can get to the game. I just wanted to wish you a good opening day. I know you won’t be playing but I’ll still be watchin’ it.”

“Thanks, ma. I love you. Be optimistic.”

“Love you too, baby. I will try. Have a great day and go find that girl.”

Maybe if I find a random one, she’ll be happy.

6

Maddox

Opening day, a random day at the beginning of April that brings joy to millions of baseball fans every time it comes along

Growing up, opening day was always my favorite. It was like Christmas morning when you’d wake up and run to the tree to open gifts.

It’s the start of a new season. A fresh start that has you forgetting about everything that might have gone wrong the previous season. Because on opening day, it doesn’t matter what your batting average is or how many shutout innings you pitched, all that matters is that you are ready to play.

Every season since I was called up to the majors, opening day has always made me giddy like a kid at the toy store. Filled with so many possibilities.

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