Page 23 of Fake Love

Not going to happen, I will make sure of that.

For what feels like a very long hour, I sit in the chair, taking in every single inch of my surroundings. I sit there unmoving long enough for someone to walk in.

There’s no surprise at all that Ben Kipper is the first from his team to arrive at the clubhouse on opening day.

“Maddox,” he says, giving me a nod when he sees me. “I wasn't expecting to see you today.”

I don’t think anyone was.

When a player gets suspended by the MLB there are a few rules that they have to follow, all depending on the severity of their suspension.

My case is considered a level nine on a ten-point scale. So there are a number of things that I can’t do.

With my type of suspension, I was allowed to participate in spring training, even pitch a few games and work out with the team. I’m also allowed to participate in batting practice, but that’s where it stops. I’m not allowed to be in the clubhouse, the dugout, the bullpen, anywhere but the stands during the game. I can’t even dress out. I can be in the stadium during it, but as a fan and nothing else.

I can’t even take part in today’s opening day activities.

So why am I here?

Because I needed to be surrounded by baseball so I can make sure my new team knows their investment in me is worth it. And even with the fact that I wasn’t even going to wear my new jersey today, I’m still anxious as fuck.

“I wanted to see what opening day is like here.” I state, standing up from my seat.

“It’s a special one, I’ll tell you that.” Ben says, closing the distance between us and offering me his hand to shake. “I’m glad you decided to come today.”

“Hopefully I feel the same way later on.” I say as I shake his hand.

He smirks at my statement but completely ignores it. “You want to stay for batting practice?”

I nod. “If it’s okay with you, I would like to. I know my suspension isn’t over yet, but I want to do my part as much as I can.”

Ben looks at me questioningly. I know being here and wanting to take part in something so minimal as batting practice is new to him. No doubt that there are guys out there that would take every advantage they can with their suspension and be halfway around the world.

Not me.

I want to play.

I need to play.

“Fine by me. I think everyone will be happy to see you here.”

“Hopefully you’re right.” I answer.

I may have spent the better part of the last month with my new teammates, and they seem okay with having me here, but it can all be a farce.

Ben doesn’t say anything, he just nods at me to follow him to his office.

Once we’re in his office with the door closed, Ben waves for me to take a seat in the chair that’s in front of his desk.

At least it’s not a foldable chair like I’ve seen in most visiting clubhouses.

“How is San Francisco treating you so far?” he asks, giving me a smile that I’m sure puts everyone at ease.

“Good, but it’s only been a few days. Not long enough to draw a good opinion.” That is if I don’t talk about a certain dirty blonde barista that has been occupying my mind since I left her bed a little over a month ago.

If I do talk about Jen, then San Francisco is the best place in the world.

“At times, the city can be a very interesting place. Other times, it can be a little dark and gloomy. You just have to be sure that you take in the city in a way that’s best for you.” Ben says, giving me a nod.

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