Page 4 of Fake Love

I shake his hand. “Thank you, Ben. I’m happy to be here and to hopefully be in your bullpen.”

Hopefully, because even though I was traded it doesn’t mean that I will be seeing the pitcher’s mound anytime soon.

“Glad to hear it.”

After shaking hands with Darryl Mann, the team’s general manager, and Von Douglas, the team president, the four of us all take a seat at the conference table, my contract in front of all of us.

Without any hesitation, Von starts the meeting. Getting right to work.

“The reason The Miners were willing to take on your contract was because Cole here informed us that you were completing an addiction program.” Von states.

They were willing because I was getting clean.

Not because of the work that I have done as a pitcher in for Chicago but because I was getting clean. Great.

If I wasn’t already feeling like a piece of shit, that would have certainly caused me to.

I give him a nod. “Yes, sir.” I confirmed. “I just finished six weeks at a facility in Utah.”

“And?”

What kind of question is that?

Squaring my shoulders, I looked at Von straight on.

“And I realize what my mistakes were. I understand that what I was doing to myself was wrong. What I was doing to my team was wrong. I was dealing with some things in my personal life, still dealing with them, and I decided to handle them the wrong way. I’m clean if that’s what you’re asking and I will stay clean. I can promise you that my head is straight now. I won’t slip,” at least I will try not to, “and I certainly won’t let your investment go down the drain.”

Von looks at me with hard eyes. It’s as if he is trying to figure out if he should believe me or not.

“It's your mother, correct? The stuff you’re dealing with.”

I wouldn’t label my mom's sickness as ‘stuff’ but I still give him a nod.

“How is she?” Ben asks, sincerity in his tone.

Talking about my mother these last few months has been one of the hardest things that I’ve had to do.

I swallow down a lump that is starting to form in my throat. “Doctors are hopeful. She has monthly appointments to keep an eye on the growth of her tumors. Hopefully if it all goes well, she will be able to have surgery to remove them.”

In February of last year, a little over a year ago, my mom went to the doctor because she was having these painful headaches. Her vision was also getting blurry and at times she felt like she didn’t know how to speak.

It was right before I had to report for spring training, so because I wasn’t going to see her for two months, I decided to go with her.

I was in the waiting room as she was getting checked out. when a nurse came to get me. The second she said my name, I knew something was wrong.

I thought that maybe my mom had fallen or something along those line but when I walked into the doctor's office and saw tears running down her face, I knew it was something bad.

When I sat down, I took my mom’s hand and listened to the doctor tell a bunch of things that I couldn’t comprehend.

Turns out my mom had gone to the doctor a few weeks earlier and had to get some tests done to find out what was going on.

The appointment we were at was to tell her what they had found.

According to the doctor, one of those tests was a brain scan. A brain scan that came back abnormal.

The scan had found several brain tumors that at the time looked like they were going relatively slowly.

When I had asked what they were going to do about them, all the doctor said was that they were going to keep a close eye on the tumors. A close eye he said, followed by hope that they wouldn’t grow.

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