Page 49 of Fake Love

I was buttoning my jersey when the Sacramento skipper called me into his office and told me I was being called up. I guess one of the starting pitchers got placed on the 60 day disable list with an elbow injury and the team chose me.

I thought that it would have taken a lot longer than it did to get called up. I had only pitched two whole games in Sacramento, I was sure that wasn’t enough.

But I guess it was.

After he told me, I went back to my locker and got redressed and gathered all of my things. As I was getting ready to leave, a few of the guys patted me on the back and congratulated me on being called up.

Almost everyone one did actually.

All but one.

Brown.

He gave me a snarl as I walked out of the clubhouse.

I wanted to tell him to fuck off but I didn’t. Instead I just shot him a wink and walked out of there.

After leaving the park, I sat in my rental for a good five minutes trying to wrap my head around the whole thing.

My suspension was officially over. 90 games have come and gone and now I get to play in the majors once more.

Last year at this time, I had just started to let my demons control me. I was standing in the brightest place imaginable and let my demons incase it with darkness until I could no longer see. I was starting to spiral, and I thought that nothing was able to touch me.

Yet it did. Those demons destroyed me and now a year later, I was about to scratch the surface of who I was once.

It was a lot to take in, but eventually I was settled and started to make the one and half hour trek back to San Francisco.

On any normal day, I would have gone straight to the park and joined the team for a game, but since it was one of the rare Mondays off, I went to my apartment.

I spent the rest of the afternoon, talking to Cole and Ben and coordinating everything for tomorrow. Now it’s close to midnight and instead of find sleep, I’m pacing the length of my living room.

Tomorrow is my official day back in the majors and I feel like I’m going to puke.

There is no guarantee that I will even see the mound tomorrow, but still the nerves are at an all time high.

So what do I do to calm my nerves?

I call my mom.

Call me a momma’s boy all you want, a twenty eight year old man still needs his mom every now and then.

The time doesn’t register in my brain until she answers the phone with sleep all over her voice.

“Maddox, why the hell are you calling me so damn late?” she says through the phone and I cringe a little.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I didn’t think. My nerves are just messing with my head a little, though it would be nice to hear your voice.”

“You use that line on all the girls that you’re trying to get with?”

“Ma! No. I just figured I’d call since I haven’t talked to you in a few days.”

Jesus. I guess having a young mom means that she takes shots at me every chance she gets.

“A few days? Maddox, I talked to you yesterday.”

She’s right there.

“That call was justified there. I was calling to see what the doctor said.”

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