Page 75 of Fake Love

I do need her and I’m so happy that she’s here.

Patting the cushion next to me, silently asking her to come sit with me.

She does, and she wastes no time wrapping her arms around me, surrounding me with everything that is Selena.

Maddox must have told her what had happened because when she pulls away from me, I see tears in her eyes. They become more apparent when she sees the scrap on my cheek.

I give her a small smile to reassure her that I’m fine, that I’m okay, but I don’t know how good I do that because tears form in my eyes.

Maddox ends up turning off the news and putting on a movie. At some point I end up cuddled between him and Selena, making me realize that I’ve never felt this safe in my adult life.

Growing up, I always felt this way when I was with my parents or around Selena and her family. I thought that the feeling had moved with me as I got older, but now I’m realizing that it hasn’t, until now.

Sandwiched between my best friend and my fake boyfriend slash boss.

When the movie ends, Selena ends up going home soon after with the promise that she will see me tomorrow.

Once she’s gone, it’s just me and Maddox left to our own accord.

“I’ll sleep on the couch and you can take my bed. The guest room isn’t set up yet,” he tells me, looking awkward in his own living room.

We may continuously be breaking our no PDA rule but we have yet to share a bed or actually sleep together.

Even during the week I traveled with the team, Maddox made sure that he got a room with two beds.

But right now making him sleep on the couch seems wrong.

I shake my head. “Please don’t sleep on the couch. Sleep in the bed with me.”

Maddox looks at me as if he’s trying to get a read of my mind and get a better understanding of what I’m thinking.

Eventually he gives me a nod and walks me to the bedroom.

We’re awkward as we get ready to go to sleep, but eventually the lights get turned off and we’re laying in bed.

Not being able to handle the distance between us, I turn over and cuddle into Maddox’s side causing him to wrap and arm around me and bring me in closer.

We lay like that for a bit, no words just feeling each other’s warmth, neither one of us falling asleep.

Eventually Maddox breaks the silence. “I called Selena when you didn’t answer. I thought maybe that you might have been with her, so I called. I promised to tell her when I heard something, so when we got here I called her and had her come over.”

I can hear just how much me not answering his calls really put him through the ringer.

“Thank you for calling her. And thank you for getting me a new phone. You didn’t need to.”

With the little light that is flowing through the room, I can see him nod.

We go back to being silent, and this time my eyes start to droop with sleep.

But all sleep goes out the window when Maddox speaks.

“Today was the first day since I got out of rehab that I felt the urge to use,” he pauses for a couple of seconds, taking a few deep breaths in the process. “Not knowing if you were okay made me feel helpless and all I wanted to do was forget and not feel a thing. The urge to find an escape was prominent until I had you in my arms.”

Silent tears escape my eyes as I hear the pain in his voice.

Hearing what he felt for that short time, makes me want to hate this day even more.

“I’m sorry.” I say, not knowing what other words would make this any better.

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