Page 43 of The Life We Almost Had

‘We’re not far from shore. We can swim,’ I shouted over the alarm.

‘But I can’t—’

‘But I can. I’ve got you.’ There didn’t seem to be any sort of plan. We were closer to the island we had left. I could make it, even with Anna.

I was certain.

‘Come on.’ I scrambled over the railing; the yacht was now at such an acute angle there wasn’t much of a drop. ‘Anna?’ I held out my hand. ‘Jump.’

‘I can’t.’ She placed both hands over her stomach.

It was on me to protect her. My wife. My son or daughter. The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying. The love I felt, primal. I would get us out of this. I would.

‘You can. I’ve got you.’ I wouldn’t let her fall, either of them. I was Samson-strong.

‘I can’t… Adam…’

The alarm beep-beep-beeped in time with my heart, which was now in my mouth. What was I going to do if she refused to jump?

‘Anna, please,’ I said evenly as my feet kicked below the surface, the proverbial swan. I stretched out my arms. ‘Trust me? Please, Star. For me.’

She put one leg over the railing, hesitated.

‘I’m so scared,’ she whispered.

‘I know, but I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.’

Slowly, tentatively, she climbed until she was on the other side of the railing. There was another lurch.

She screamed.

Slipped.

Fell into the water with a loud splash. She disappeared under a wave. I dove beneath the surface and could see her sinking. Deeper and deeper. I swam like I’d never swam before until she was in my arms. They were both in my arms. My wife and child. She struggled. Kicking her legs frantically, dragging us both down again. I broke through the surface. Again and again I fought for us to break free.

‘Anna! Stop struggling!’ I shouted as we burst into sunlight once more. ‘Relax. Relax your body. I promise you, you’re safe. Star. Relax.’ Suddenly she became limp.

Other passengers were swimming past us now but I kept a steady pace. The island we had left a short time ago didn’t look too far away but it was an age before we reached the shallows, where we stood and stumbled, hand in hand, flopping onto the sand.

My chest was on fire. Each breath hurt. It was an effort to speak.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked her. ‘We need to get you checked out. You and the baby.’ Even on dry land I was horribly worried about them and it occurred to me that I always would be. As a father and a husband, I should be.

‘I’m okay, but… but Adam…’ She covered her face with her hands and I wrapped my arms around her. Held her as she cried.

‘Shh,’ I soothed. Over her shoulder I could see a small lifeboat crammed with people heading back to shore but there was still a person clinging to the railings of the yacht. Were they a swimmer?An adult? In my mind I saw that teddy bear, fur sodden with sea water, hopeful yellow ribbon tied around his neck.

‘I have to go back.’

‘Adam! No!’ Anna clutched my arm.

‘There’s still somebody on board. Say they can’t swim? Think how scared you were, Anna.’

‘Please don’t!’ Her fingers dug into my wrist. ‘It isn’t your responsibility.’

‘Anna, there werechildrenon board.’

My eyes held hers until she loosened her grip on my wrist and nodded. ‘Be careful.’

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