Page 74 of The Life We Almost Had

‘Dr Chapman,’ I correct. I’m behaving terribly but I can’t help it.

‘I’m familiar with Dr Chapman’s work and while I commend his research into neurological disease, I can tell you now what’s in Adam’s mind. Nothing.’

He’s always been more pessimistic than I’d like, but his opinion is still a punch to the gut.

I glance at Adam. When I had sat by his bedside talking to him,I had longed for him to be able to hear me but now I hope he isn’t listening tothis.

‘Dr Acevedo.’ Oliver steps in. ‘I can return with the Institute’s solicitor if you’d prefer, but can we perhaps talk outside?’ He pushes his glasses nervously onto the bridge of his nose. I don’t hold out any hope that he can talk Dr Acevedo around but when they come back into the room, Dr Acevedo has Adam’s release papers and a pen. My hand is quivering. It takes me three attempts to scrawl my signature.

‘You’re doing the right thing,’ Nell says.

Adam is wheeled along the corridor, with me once again trotting at his side. This time the doctors from the Institute are speaking in English, chatting to me, trying to put me at ease. It’s so different to when we arrived, but the fear… the fear is still the same.

Am I going to lose him?

Once Adam is settled at the Institute, I return to the apartment to pack our things.

‘You do think I’m doing the right thing?’ I ask Nell for the hundredth time as we eat our last dinner together.

‘Absolutely. I was reading this thing online—’

‘Please. No more science.’ My head’s throbbing.

‘Sorry. It’s just so fascinating. I might train to be a neuroscientist. Imagine that! I could win the Nobel Peace Prize.’

‘I think you could do anything, Nell, and Dr Stevens has a nice ring to it.’ I spear a piece of fish with my fork. ‘I wish you weren’t going home tomorrow.’ Everything seems manageable with her here.

‘I wish I didn’t have to, but it’s only for a few days while Chris sorts out cover at work and can look after the kids.I’ll fly out again next week.’

Next week. By then everything might have changed.

Or nothing.

‘Anna, you could always wait until I’m back to start the trial?’

‘I’ll think about it.’ We both know I won’t. We’re painfully aware that time is precious. That it might be running out.

A 3 per cent chance of recovery.

‘He’ll come back to me, Nell, won’t he?’

She squeezes my hand.

The car Oliver sent to fetch me winds around the coastal road. Out of the window I see nothing but darkness. Night has settled, merging the sea with the sky. It’s odd to think of Nell sleeping in the apartment, alone in the double bed Adam and I should be sharing. Tomorrow she’ll be back in the UK, but I won’t be alone. I’m grateful for Oliver and his support.

Back at the centre, in front of Adam’s door, I am introduced to Luis.

‘He’ll be Adam’s main nurse,’ Oliver tells me. ‘There’ll be somebody with Adam at all times but if you have any concerns and Luis isn’t on shift, he will likely be in his room just across the corridor. You can call him any time, day or night.’

‘I’ll be checking on Adam regularly, Mrs Curtis, whether I’m working or not.’ He shakes my hand.

‘Call me Anna, please, Luis. So… what happens if something goes wrong? At the hospital there was an alarm. So many doctors and nurses.’

‘We’ve a large medical team, please don’t worry,’ Oliver says. ‘Adam will receive state-of-the-art care here.’

‘I know but…’ But I’m having second thoughts. It’s too quiet here without the clatter and chatter I’ve become used to.

‘Here.’ Oliver pushes a button into my hand. ‘Press it.’

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