Page 38 of The Life We Almost Had

‘He said it’s fine for you to take some time off.’

‘And I need time off because…?’

‘Because.’ Was I doing the right thing? It was too late now. ‘We’re going back to Alircia on Monday.’

‘On Monday, but that’s…’ She looked stunned. I couldn’t read her expression. I couldn’t tell if she thought it was good or bad.

‘The day after tomorrow.’ I pulled the collar of my polo shirt away from my neck. It was choking me.

‘But… How?’

‘I’ve sorted it all out. I dug out our passports and bank stuff and everything before you woke so it would be a surprise. I’ve been running round all day. I’ve spoken to my boss, as well as Ross,and we both have two weeks off. We’re staying in the resort where we first met. Where we spent our honeymoon. We’ll be there for our five-year wedding anniversary.’

‘But…’

‘I know you think of the island as much as me. I saw your phone this morning. You’ve changed your screensaver back to the photo of the cove.’ I took her hand. ‘Our cove.’

‘I have been thinking about Alircia. About everything. But…’

‘Shh.’ I tucked a strand of hair that had fallen over her face, behind her ear. ‘It’s a chance to spend some time together, Anna. We need it. We deserve it. I’ve got our euros. I just need to confirm the travel insurance policy with the travel agents if I can’t find a better deal online.’

Hammie rattled his teeth noisily against his water bottle. ‘What about—’

‘I called in to see Josh at the letting agents. He’s temping there this week. He’s going to pop by tomorrow and take Hammie to his place. Come on, say yes. You’ve been working so hard.’

‘I can’t… Adam, Ross—’

‘I know it’s term time but honestly he was great. A bit shocked at first. He specifically told me to tell you that he understands and that he wants you to be happy.’ It was good of him to give me that message to put Anna’s mind at rest about missing work.

‘Did Ross really say that?’

‘Yes. He’s a good man.’

She began to cry. ‘Yes. Yes, let’s go.’

I wiped her tears with my thumb. ‘You said you wanted to talk?’

For a second she looked afraid. ‘No. Not now.’

I pulled her close to me. ‘We’re going to have a great time,Anna. It’ll all be okay. Everything.’ My voice was firm, my promises strung tightly together so they couldn’t fall apart.

I wouldn’t let us fall apart.

I hadn’t meant to, anyway.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Anna

The sea was an impossible blue. The glistening waves beckoned to us as they lapped against the honeyed sands. We had landed a few hours ago and after unpacking we’d come out for a walk. The late-afternoon heat pushed us back as we trudged up the slope towards our cove. The place I first realized that I didn’t want to live without Adam. It had become more touristy since we had last visited on our honeymoon. There was a scattering of shops and bars where whitewashed houses once stood.

‘Do you think our lock is still there?’ I nodded towards the myriad padlocks that clamped their love onto the fence bordering the beach.

‘Doubtful. They’ve probably got rid of loads to make way for more. It’s a tourist attraction. The souvenir shop over there is selling them for ten euros.’ He pointed to an A-Board. ‘Hey.’ He noticed the way my face collapsed. ‘Don’t be sad.’

But I wasn’t just sad because part of our history had been rewritten. I was also nervous. Scared of the things I needed to say. Scared of his reaction.

‘Fancy an ice cream?’ he asked.

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