Page 55 of The Life We Almost Had

‘I don’t know… I…’ Why was he saying those things? ‘Are you telling me Adam is still able to think?’

‘A few years ago a Japanese neuroscientist called Yukiyasu Kamitani developed artificial intelligence to reconstruct images in a person’s mind. There was a study with patients who have locked-in syndrome. Through algorithms, a computer lab was able to interpret what the mind was “seeing” as still images. We’ve advanced it one step further and I think we’ve developed tech that will create moving images so we can observe a stream of thoughts like… like a movie is the best way to describe it. It might, and this is a might, be a way to see what locked-in patients, those with dementia, coma patients, are seeing, if anything, in their mind. If there is still anything left of them.’ He removed his glasses again.

‘It all sounds too far-fetched. Too Frankenstein.’ I glanced around the canteen, expecting someone to jump out with a hidden camera. This had to be one huge prank.

‘Most people would be shocked by the leaps science has made.Cloning. Face transplants. Things that were once only the subject of bad sci-fi fiction is now all achievable. And I think we’ve—’

‘You keep sayingthink.’

‘It’s yet untested.’

Furious, I stood, slapping my hands against the table. I leaned towards Oliver.

‘You want to test it on Adam? I can’t believe—’

‘I wouldn’t do anything without your permission, I promise. Nothing else. Just this one clinical trial. I can guarantee you it won’t hurt him, and I’d share all the results with you, of course.’

‘Absolutely not.’

‘This is ground-breaking, you could—’

‘Please don’t tell me what I could do. Or should do. Adam is myhusband, not some guinea pig.’

‘I know that. I know. Look, Anna. I can’t imagine what you are going through right now but…’ He fumbled in his trouser pocket and pulled out a business card. ‘Please just think about it.’ He pressed it into my hand. ‘We have state-of-the-art medical equipment. Adam would receive the best care, better care than here and there’s accommodation for you. You’d be within minutes of his bed day or night.’

‘I don’t care.’ I started to turn but what he said next pulled me back.

‘I’d pay to fly him home immediately afterwards.’ He saw my hesitation. ‘Anna. If there is anything in Adam’s mind, wouldn’t you like to know what it is?’

Me. It had to be me in his mind. On his mind. I didn’t think I could bear it otherwise.

‘I’m sorry. I can’t help you.’

Without looking backwards, I walked away.

By the time I had stalked back to Adam’s bedside, I was raging with anger. With shock. The door swung open again. ‘Look, I’ve told you once,’ I began, but it wasn’t Dr Chapman. ‘You came!’ Even after our phone conversation, I wasn’t sure. I was so overwhelmed with relief.

‘Did you ever doubt that I would?’ Arms opened and we were a tangle of limbs, hearts pressed together in a tight hug.

‘Adam’s… He’s…’

‘Shh.’ Soft fingers stroked my hair. ‘I’m here now. It’ll be okay.’

And for the first time, wrapped in Nell’s arms, in her strength, I felt that it might be.

Chapter Thirty-One

Oliver

Well done, Chapman,Oliver thought.You made a right pig’s ear of that.He had never been very good at expressing himself, sharing his emotions. Clem, his wife, used to laugh at him.

‘You’re so awkward!’

‘Totally.’ He had grinned.

‘Completely, socially inept.’

‘Absolutely. But you love me anyway.’

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