Page 43 of The Art of Loving You

I shook my head. I had promised Liam I’d really consider it and I wanted to. Jack would want me to. Memories of Liam teaching Jack to rap in our kitchen while chicken roasted in the oven were still prevalent in my mind. Jack got just as much out of mentoring as the kids did.Sid’s words rode the merry-go-round in my mind:you can do anything you set your mind to.But could I?

Faith stood on the doorstep and at first I didn’t know how to greet her, opening my arms but then closing them seconds later when I remembered her text.

It’s so awkward when I see her.

We stared at each other for a moment before falling into an uncomfortable hug, rearranging our arms until we fitted together.

‘How are you?’ She stepped back and studied me.

I shrugged in response.

She offered to make the tea and I let her. It had always been so mindless, pouring boiling water onto teabags, adding milk and sugar, but now it was overwhelming. Everything was overwhelming. There was no way I could imagine opening the centre without her help.

We sat at the small pine table where I imagined Sid and Norma would once have eaten their breakfast. His toast dripping honey, the way he liked it.

‘I wanted to ask—’

‘I’ve something I have to tell you,’ Faith spoke in unison.

Have you spoken to Libby yet?

I fell silent.

‘It’s difficult …’ She pulled out a tissue and screwed it up in her fist, just in case. ‘I … I’m sorry.’

‘For what?’

‘I’m leaving,’ she said quietly.

‘Leaving? Leaving what?’

‘Town.’

‘But when? How far are you going? What about the centre?’I was flustered, asking too many questions, too fast, but she couldn’t justleave. Could she?

She didn’t meet my eye.

‘Faith … Liam … the other kids … they’re all relying on me. Onus. I can’t do it without you.’

‘I know the timing is lousy.’

‘Why now? Is this something to do with Jack?’

‘No. Of course not. Michael has been relocated again and … Why would it be to do with Jack?’

‘You wanted to talk to me alone. You texted Jack “Have you spoken to Libby yet?” and said you felt awkward around me.’ A new thought occurred to me as I remembered how tactile she was with him. ‘Were you only helping with the centre because you were in love with him? Is that why you crashed our Valentine’s meal?’

Faith placed her palms on the table and stood as if to storm out, but instead she said, ‘I came alone because I have something for you and you don’t need an audience when you see it. I’ll be back in a minute.’

I didn’t follow her, instead wondering whether I was being irrational. Nothing was making sense.

She came back into the kitchen carrying a painting. I couldn’t see what it was of.

‘This is what Jack was working on,’ she said. ‘The last thing he’d been working on. He’d been trying to source an image to copy but he couldn’t find one online and Google Earth was no help at all. I was going away for a few days in that direction anyway so I offered to try and find the place for him; he couldn’t lie to you and make the trip himself.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I found it and I was so excited. I took some pictures and as soon as I was home I wanted to show Jack the images right away and see if it was the right place. I didn’t mean to sabotage your Valentine’s, I should have just texted the photos.’

---