Page 117 of From Now On

Nina

As Charlie disappears to answer the door, Nina twists open the wrapper of her sweet and places the fudge on her tongue. She’s never been that keen on them before but she finds them strangely comforting now, linking the taste to both her brother and her dad.

‘Things that can seem like the worst mistake often, usually, work out for the best.’

This she knows is true from the way Maeve leans her head on Nina’s shoulder, the despair following that drunken kiss long forgotten.

Everyone makes a mistake, don’t they? It’s what you do afterwards that counts.

Sean doesn’t exactly welcome her with open arms on the odd occasions she goes to Maeve’s house – they spend most of their time here – but each time she sees him he is a little less hostile; he doesn’t want to lose Maeve.

Momentarily she wonders who is at the door but she doesn’t really care. She breathes in the smell of Maeve’s shampoo.

She has everything she needs, right here.

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Charlie

Charlie feels a twitch of exasperation in his stomach as he strides towards the front door; whoever is interruptingDie Hardbetter have something important to say, but then he remembers last New Year and suddenly his annoyance mutates into fear. His fingers grip the handle but he’s afraid to open the door, remembering the policemen on the step, with their ‘We’re sorry to inform you’ and ‘Is there anyone we can call for you?’ He begins to shake. If it had been any other day he’d have answered before the second, insistent knock without thinking but it’s as though this date is now forever bound in tragedy.

He steels himself, keeping his eyes lowered while he pulls the door towards him.

‘Charlie.’

He steps backward in shock, his head pounding with possibilities. Probabilities.

‘I…’ he cannot form the words.

‘Can I… Is it all right if I come in?’ It’s the question of a stranger, an unwelcome visitor, but this is not a stranger.

This visitor is not unwelcome.

He is soaked with relief that she is here.

‘Pippa, please…’ he falters. Not sure what he is asking.Love me. Never leave me. Forgive me.‘Come in, come in.’

He leads her into the kitchen, all the time formulating the words he wants to say that even in his own head sound inadequate. He purposefully keeps it light. Afraid to ask her why she is really here. Afraid she will leave. ‘Do you want coffee?’

Do you want me?

‘Yes, please. I’ve brought…’ she looks unsure as she hesitantly offers him a plate of cookies.

‘Round food.’ He remembers.

‘A full circle.’

A circle has no beginning and no end. The pressure throbbing inside of Charlie’s head begins to ease. Whatever this is, he doesn’t think it’s her seeking closure, a goodbye.

‘How is everything? Did you set up as a sole literary agent?’ she asks. It isn’t what Charlie wants to talk about but he doesn’t want to rush it. He doesn’t want to rush her.

‘No. I’m having a go at writing my own book.’

‘Charlie, that’s amazing. How’s it going?’

‘It’s been a bit like pulling teeth but I’ve finished the first draft. Edits next and then I’ll send it out to try and bag a deal, I guess.’

‘Exciting!’

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