Page 25 of From Now On

‘You have to come and live with me—’

‘But Charlie—’

‘Charlie didn’t want you,’ she snaps.

Duke feels himself crumple inside. Charlie isn’t here because he doesn’t want to be here. With them. Of course not. Why would he? Duke feels an idiot for ever thinking his brother might take them on. Him with his weirdness and Nina with her hormones. Why would he choose them over London? Duke has lost another person and inside he feels as though his stomach has stretched open really wide and something heavy has dropped into it, but still he can’t seem to cry.

‘I’m sorry. That was blunt.’ Aunt Violet pats his hand. ‘We’ll get used to each other, learn to rub along together,’ she says but Duke knows there is more to being a family than getting used to each other and rubbing along together.

There’s love.

And, right now, it feels he doesn’t have any.

It is much later and three more arguments before Nina’s bag thud-thud-thuds down the stairs; she follows it, stamping angrily, her rucksack slung over her shoulder.

‘I need to get my clarinet.’ Nina kicks open the door to the music room. Duke follows her.

They both stand frozen in the doorway, eyes trained on those swirling black letters on the golden wall:

All The Things You Are…

Broken

Lonely

Orphaned

Duke’s fingers find Nina’s but she snatches her hand away, picking up her clarinet case.

‘Grab your saxophone,’ she orders.

‘No.’

‘You can’t just leave it here. Dad—’

‘I don’t want to play anymore,’ Duke says but what he really means is he doesn’t want to play without his parents. He wants to explain to Nina that he ate the cookie dough and caused all of this, so he doesn’t deserve the happiness music brings but if she hasn’t figured out for herself that it’s all his fault he is too scared to tell her. His world has already shrunk so much. She is the only constant he has left.

Actually, not the only one.

‘Billie?’ He heads back into the hallway. ‘Billie. Time to go.’ But she doesn’t come running.

‘Billie’s already gone,’ Aunt Violet says.

‘To your house?’

‘To her new home.’

‘You’ve given our bloody dog away!’ Nina yells.

‘Nina, do stop swearing. I can’t believe your parents let you be so feral.’

‘Where is Billie?’ Something strange is happening to Duke; he can feel his body begin to shake, can feel his skin turn icy cold and he doesn’t feel as though he’s in his own body.

‘That girl next door has taken her.’

‘Pippa.’ Duke begins to run out the front door but Aunt Violet grabs him around the waist.

‘I told Pippa to stay inside with the dog. Less stressful for everyone. You can visit her when she’s settled in.’

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