Page 76 of From Now On

He sleeps with Mum’s T-shirt every night and tries not to mind that her smell is fading.

‘So, what did you think about the book?’ Charlie pushes his own plate away and taps the cover ofThe Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, their latest book club read. Nina rolls her eyes and leaves the room.

‘I loved it.’ Duke had raced through the story.

‘What was the best bit about it for you?’

‘Well, I didn’t think I’d like it at all because the dog died—’ Duke pulls Billie that little bit closer ‘—but then when Christopher is trying to solve the mystery it’s epic. He’s different, isn’t he, to other kids?’

‘We’re all different, Duke.’

Charlie is doing that head-to-one-side tilt to show he’s really listening.

‘Yeah but—’ Duke strokes Billie ‘—it’s like Nina says, I’m weird in a bad way but Mum said I was special and Evie says I’m weird in a cool way. I think books that show we’re not all the same are good because it might make readers more, I dunno, tolerant? Is that a good word?’

‘It’s an excellent word.’

‘Because people… I think they just really want to be happy but they can be scared of things they don’t understand, so if it’s explained to them properly then they might be more accepting. Nobody’s perfect, are they? Yeah, that was the best bit for me. Having a character who is different to other kids their own age.’

‘I think you’re right, Duke. Books are so powerful. As well as making us feel happy or sad they make us think about ourselves and the world around us. Imagine being able to write a story that changes someone’s life?’

‘Why don’t you, Charlie?’

‘Why don’t I what?’

‘Write a book? You always wanted to. I dunno what you do all day while me and Nina are at school. It’s not like you have a job, is it?’

Charlie’s face falls before he rearranges his expression, that fake grin again. ‘Looking after you both is a privilege and—’

‘Charlie?’

‘Yes, Duke.’

‘Please stop reading parenting books. Throw them away and write your own book. Change someone’s life even if it’s only your own.’

‘I’m not sure I’d even know where to begin writing an entire book.’

‘Begin at the beginning. Everything starts somewhere, doesn’t it?’

‘But what if…?’ Charlie tails off, turning towards him. His expression is soreal,not parenting-book happy or displaying active listening but kind of like Billie when she’s not sure if she can do something and she looks to you for reassurance.

‘But what if it works out okay?’ Duke summons his best piece of advice and that didn’t even come from a book. He waits for Charlie to answer but his brother is gazing out of the window, over towards Pippa’s house. Duke doesn’t know if he’s even listening anymore.

Then Charlie gets up and rushes from the room.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Charlie

‘What if it works out okay?’

When Duke had said this to Charlie yesterday he’d had to leave the room and compose himself in the bathroom because he became so choked up listening to Duke, gazing at Pippa’s empty house, he knew tears were about to fall.

‘What if it works out okay?’

His brother may have been referring to writing a book but that simple question had made him pick over the conversation he’d had with Pippa during their heart-to-heart when he had found her sorting her possessions into boxes.

Made him think of a million different things he could have said when she had told him tearfully that she was going to go and stay with her parents and make a decision about her future and by this Charlie knew she meant whether or not she’d sell the house and leave. She said she wouldn’t be in touch while she was gone, but Charlie knows now that she meant she wouldn’t be in touch with him because she’s still messaging Nina and Duke.

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