Page 128 of A Christmas Celebration
‘You’re right,’ I confirmed. ‘But I would like to tell you what happened.’
I had no idea where that announcement came from, and Molly looked as surprised as I felt, but I went with it, safe in the knowledge that the memory of what had occurred could no longer harm me.
‘I can appreciate now that I was distracted,’ I began, ‘but that was no excuse for my resultant irrational actions.’
‘Go on,’ Molly encouraged, settling in her seat.
‘Well, we’d recently had a meeting at the camp and been told that due to a severe cut in corporate funding, volunteer numbers and programmes across the globe were going to be sharply reduced and, in some cases, scrapped completely.’
‘I can imagine you must have been devastated.’
‘I was,’ I said, ‘we all were and I was still mulling it over the day we were due to receive urgent medical supplies. They were being driven to the camp by truck and I’d been waiting for it to arrive for hours, when I got word that the vehicle had broken down just outside the gates.’
‘That must have been frustrating?’ Molly frowned.
‘It was,’ I said, biting my lip. ‘And I was so wound up that I…’
‘That you…?’
I took a deep breath before carrying on.
‘That I decided to take matters into my own hands and, without consulting anyone else, marched out of the camp, found the truck and began offloading the supplies by hand.’
Molly’s eyes widened.
‘I know,’ I said. ‘It was a huge error of judgement and theeruption of rifle fire which rang out during my second trip to the truck, made sure I knew it.’
‘Oh, Paige,’ Molly gasped. ‘You must have been terrified.’
‘I was,’ I said, ‘not only for myself, but more for the rest of the team who had to launch a rescue and put themselves in danger to get me back.’
‘Was anyone hurt?’
‘Thankfully not,’ I said, wiping my eyes, ‘but that didn’t stop me catastrophizing over what might have happened from then on and losing all confidence in my ability to make even the smallest decision.’
‘And it made you jittery too,’ Molly said thoughtfully. ‘That was why you hit the deck that day in Hayley’s studio when we were looking for her designs, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes.’ I swallowed. ‘That’s exactly why I reacted like I did. That’s not happening anymore though,’ I told her. ‘And the nightmares have stopped too.’
‘Nightmares?’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘they were pretty bad when I first arrived, but being here has helped so much. I’m making decisions for myself again and I’ve learnt a valuable lesson too.’
‘Which is?’
‘That working in isolation didn’t protect my heart,’ I was able to admit. ‘I’ve come to relearn that working in a team and doing things with other people, just like I did when Chadia was alive but had lost sight of since she died, is far more beneficial to my mental health than keeping myself to myself and my emotions locked up tight.’
Molly moved to wrap her arms around me, embracing me in an incense scented hug.
‘I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,’ I said, letting my tears fall unchecked. ‘I know you were willing to listen but…’ My words trailed off.
‘Don’t be sorry,’ Molly said, kissing my hair and pulling away a little so she could look right at me. ‘If you had been meant to tell me before now, you would have done. This was the time it was all meant to come out,’ she insisted, sounding more Molly-ish than ever. ‘Not before or after, but now. Yes?’
‘Okay,’ I said, wiping my eyes. ‘Okay, yes.’
She let me go but didn’t take her eyes off me.
‘You’ve finally moved on.’ She smiled. ‘And you’ve found someone to love and who loves you back and as a result made huge decisions about your future.’
