Page 41 of A Christmas Celebration
‘I’m so pleased.’ I smiled, knowing that was exactly what Alice had been hoping for.
When she’d spoken to me about her desire to move, she’d prioritized things for her children, such as going to the playgroup and coming to the library, but I knew it was essential that she should have some benefit from the relocation too.
‘The housing officer has arranged for her to look at the flat tomorrow,’ Kathleen said. ‘I don’t suppose there’s any chance you could give her a lift…’
‘Sorry,’ I quickly said. ‘I can’t. I work at the hall on Fridays.’
As excited as I was for Alice and her children, and as much as I liked her, I was determined not to get further involved. I’d made a hash of things with Albert and didn’t want a repeat performance with the young mum. There was too much at stake for me to risk somehow ballsing it up.
‘And I haven’t got access to car seats for the kids,’ I further pointed out.
‘Not to worry,’ said Kathleen. ‘I’ll sort something. I should be able to get them here and back before I start setting up for the dance. You are still coming, aren’t you?’
I was saved from answering, by a knock on the door.
‘Chris Dempster is here with the fruit and veg boxes,’ said a disembodied voice from the other side. ‘Are you ready to start loading them?’
Switching to the Land Rover was definitely a smart move as along with the fruit and veg, there was some dry cleaning to drop off and more general groceries too. I was relieved the delivery route didn’t take me anywhere near where Albert lived that day, so there was no temptation to linger outside his cottage trying to decipher how he was getting on.
‘I have supper, from Dorothy,’ I told Molly when she opened the cottage door to me and Bran that evening, ‘and wine, from Angus.’
‘You look like Little Red Riding Hood,’ Molly laughed, taking the packed wicker basket from me.
‘Only the wolf is much friendlier,’ I said, giving Bran’s back a rub.
He soaked up the fuss and then joined Suki the Chihuahua, already curled up in front of the well-stoked fire. Floss had opted to stay with Dorothy in the hall kitchen.
‘Do you want this now?’ Molly asked, peering into the basket. ‘Or shall I just open the wine?’
The tub of plump green olives from the Wynbridge deli was too moreish to resist and the grissini from the same place paired with Dorothy’s delicious homemade houmous didn’t last long either.
‘So,’ said Molly as she picked up her glass, the contents of which looked a little different to mine, and sat back with her feet curled under her, ‘how are you enjoying being back at the hall? We’ve hardly spent any time together since you arrived.’
‘It’s wonderful,’ I told her with a smile as I tucked myself into the corner of the sofa and took a sip of wine. ‘Exactly what I needed,’ I carried on. ‘Especially as I’m in the Rose Room.’
‘You do look better than when you arrived,’ she said frankly, ‘but still not quite your former self.’
‘But don’t forget you hadn’t seen me for a long time,’ I reasonably pointed out. ‘Time takes its toll on all of us.’
‘That’s not what I meant,’ she batted back. ‘And you know it.’
‘I do,’ I had to agree, ‘but given where I’ve been working and the things I’ve seen as a result, I was bound to have changed a bit, wasn’t I?’
‘Yes,’ she said with a frown. ‘I suppose so. I daresay your work is far more stressful and gruelling than anything I can imagine.’
I didn’t refute her, or correct her tense but thought back to the person I had been when, buoyed up by Chadia’s exuberant enthusiasm, I had signed up for my first assignment. I’d had this wholly idealistic vision then of what I, undertaking the work, would look like.
What could be more noble, I had thought, than working to help people enhance and rebuild their lives? Even though I had still felt passionate about the roles we eventually took on in the refugee camps, the harsh reality had turned out to be nothing like my romanticized imaginings.
‘You should be grateful you can’t imagine it,’ I said to Molly, as I swallowed more of the wine. ‘It was constant pressure and often quite dangerous,’ I carried on, the sudden willingness to talk taking me by surprise. ‘And there were always at least a hundred more things I felt I could be doing.’
‘It can’t have been easy,’ Molly said softly. ‘Especially after what happened to Chadia. It must have been impossible to stay on top of your game under those challenging and grief-ridden circumstances all of the time.’
My former wealth of words suddenly dried up.
‘Yes,’ I simply said, thinking how in the end I hadn’t kept on top of it. ‘It was.’
‘Will you be ready to go back after Christmas?’ Molly then asked.
