Page 31 of The Front Runner
And after a few beats, she reaches for my hand again.
11
Stefan
I need to take a break.My eyes are about to cross for how long I’ve spent staring at a spreadsheet. I press my fists into the sockets of my skull and press gently until I see white.
On Friday night, I stayed in Farrah and Loki’s stall, so afraid to disturb the tentative truce that Mira and I seemed to have come to. I sat there so long, feeling the press of her fingers between mine and the heat of her body so close, that we fell asleep. Her head tipped to the side and rested against my shoulder, and what was I supposed to do then?
I didn’t want to disturb her, and I didn’t want it to end either. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, but sleep overtook me at some point, and I woke up to the feel of cold air against my side and the sound of Mira shuffling around the stall.
She didn’t say anything to me. She looked groggy, and it felt like she was avoiding looking at me.
I wanted her to come back and grab my hand again.
To snuggle up against me once more.
But I knew that was too much to ask.
And she clearly thought that would take it too far because she packed up and left with a quiet, “See you later. I’ll be back in the morning.”
I didn’t even bother going back to my house. I stumbled into the barn lounge and sprawled out on the leather couch there. And that’s exactly where I’ve spent the last two nights, so I can watch Loki.
The good news is the colt seems to be steadily improving. The bad news is I’m barely functional. If it wasn’t for the one-on-one time with Mira, I think I’d feel an awful lot like I’m doing Billie Black a favor.
That’s a thought I sweep away. I’m doing this to save the foal who’s living in my barn. The one who deserves every fighting chance available, no matter who owns him.
With a deep sigh, I head to the front door where I grab my favorite shearling coat and slip my feet into a pair of boots, hoping some fresh spring air will rejuvenate me.
I walk down the winding road from the house, past the lake where my mother’s ashes are sprinkled, feeling conflicted about her, as is my new normal. It’s a trip missing someone so deeply but also being so unforgivably angry with them. I’m still not sure how to make heads or tails of that, even after four years.
When the barn comes into view from around the far side of the huge weeping willow, I see Mira’s black truck with the gold logo and canopy cover parked out front. In a paddock just next to the barn, Nadia leans against the fence looking down at the ground where Mira is crouching over a horse that is flat out on his side.
The hell are they doing?My heart races. Lately, every time Mira is here, it’s because something isn’t going right. I pick up my pace, cutting across the grass to reach the paddock as quickly as possible.
“That’sit?” Nadia’s disbelieving voice is what I hear first. “Just like: incision, yank it out, and then snip?”
“Yup.” I can hear the smile in Mira’s voice. “That’s it.”
“Huh.” Nadia’s blonde curls bob with her head.
“So, the next time those pencil pricks have something shitty to say to you, you can tell them in detail how you’ll castrate them.”
What the…
I get to the fence beside Nadia to see Mira disposing of what looks like… oh.Oh God. That’s hard to look at.
I’m not especially squeamish, but I’m not keen on watching a fellow male get castrated. I know it’s a horse, but still. It just hits slightly too close to home.
“Stefan, did you realize how simple this procedure is?” Nadia asks, sounding a little too excited by the prospect. “I really almost feel like I could do it myself!”
Mira hits me with a knowing grin as she stands and tosses her gloves into the same bucket as the poor horse’s family jewels. This woman is terrifying. “I’ll get you to help me next time, Nadia.”
“Jesus Christ.” I drag a hand through my hair and shake my head. “What are you two hellions up to here?”
“Turning a stallion into a gelding. And teaching Nadia how to handle all the immature
teenaged boys that think the best way into her pants is terrorizing her.” Mira slaps her hands together with a satisfied smirk on her face. “I wish I could be there to see their faces.”
