Page 68 of The Front Runner
“Why?” His green eyes glitter as they move between mine knowingly.
“You know why.” I roll my eyes, body wound tight.
Stefan flips me flat onto my back. “I don’t think I do. You’re like a safe, and I think I’m close to figuring out the combination. So don’t worry, Mira. I’m going to get in there and learn all your secrets. I’ll keep them for you, too. Especially the one about me beingexactlyyour type.”
And with that, he winks and disappears beneath the covers.
* * *
My walksof shame usually just refer to drunkenness. Smudged makeup. Maybe a broken heel on my shoe due to said inebriation.
A fancy backless dress and missing panties just slaps a little differently, and I pray no one sees me as I race up the stairs to my apartment above the barn with my fancy stilettos in hand. Stefan offered some spare clothes or to ‘borrow’ something from Nadia. Both options seemed even more obvious to my sex-addled mind.
I fumble with my keys, cursing under my breath as they drop to the landing. “Motherfucker.” I don’t even risk looking around myself. I pick up the keys and get through the door before slamming it behind me and leaning up against it. A deep sigh leaves my chest, and I let my eyes close as I lean my head back.
Once I get my bearings, I open my eyes and look around the tiny apartment. I’m home, but it feels very empty and very quiet. A bit lonely even. My friends are paired off, connected at the hip to their men and loving it, and I just left the house of the only man who has ever made me feel something for no reason other than I needed some goddamn space. Tearing myself away from him after one night of mind-blowing sex was already hard enough.
I needspace.And to think.
My phone pings, and I pick it up.
Violet:Don’t forget it’s girls’ night!
Goddamnit. How did I forget? And why does it have to be after pulling an all-night sex-a-thon with the man they all hate?
Violet:I invited Nadia too. Hope that’s okay!
Fuck.This is going to be awkward. My thumbs fly across the screen.
Mira:Of course, that’s okay. We going to Neighbors?
The pub is our go-to hang out.
Violet:Nah. The Paddock. Nadia said she doesn’t really drink, and I thought that might be more low-key. I’m tired, but I need a break. 7pm? I won’t last late.
I’m not sad that we’re going to our favorite field to drink and chat. It’s honestly my favorite meeting spot.
Mira:See you then, hot mama.
Violet:It’s cute that you call me hot when we both know I just look eternally exhausted.
Violet loves this new chapter of her life. But being a full-time jockey and mom to a baby is hard work. She’s lucky she has Cole, who might be the most attentive husband and father of all time. I absently wonder what type of father Stefan would be as I let my dress fall to the floor, shaking my head at myself.Pathetic.I crawl into bed, determined to catch some actual hours of sleep before I make an appearance and try not to seem super guilty around my closest friends. But when I close my lids, all I see is Stefan and his beautiful green eyes.
My new favorite color.
When I wake up, I’m distracted. Not feeling like myself. The problem is… I don’t want to go to girls’ night. I want to go to Stefan’s house. I want to fall into his bed. I want him to wrap his arms around me so I can disappear in him. I feel like a child who’s just gone through a developmental leap. I can firmly say I haveneverfelt like this about a guy before.
Especially not one I shouldn’t be tangling myself up with.
Especially one I’m keeping secrets from. Or who I’m keeping secret.
It feels dirty. It feels like an injustice to a man who has done nothing but go out of his way to help me, to defend me, to soothe me.
It’s a fucking trip, is what it is.
I lock the door behind me and jog down the narrow set of stairs to the ground. The ranch is quiet, the horses are in safely for the night, and the ones who are prepping for the upcoming season are living down at the track for their training regimen, and all the staff have gone home for the day.
There’s still a spring nip in the air this close to the mountains. I pull my oversized canvas coat tight around my body and consider going back for an extra blanket, but when I round the corner of the barn and look down the grass pathway to the paddock where we meet up sometimes, a bright fire catches my eye. The three girls are already there, and it’s looking like they’ve got a pretty cozy set up, which is new.
