Page 75 of The Front Runner
Love.
The word bounces around in my head. A perilous word to be sure. I love Nadia, absolutely. But the way Mira lumped herself in there felt a little too natural. My heart says she belongs on that list, but my head says it’s too soon. My head says that everyone I love ends up hurt. Or dead.
Could I love Mira that way? Fiercely? I stare down at her elegant fingers, still skating across my skin. I think I probably could.
Possibly already do.
I grunt and palm her skull, silky hair sliding beneath my skin as I kiss the crown of her head. I pull her closer and chide myself. For a guy who claims that honesty is an important quality to him, I’m a fantastic liar. I shouldn’t love Mira. Because everything I touch turns to shit. And when I love something too much, the universe takes it away from me.
* * *
“Good morning.”
I turn around from the coffee maker to see Nadia sliding onto a stool at the island in the kitchen. This is my favorite room in the house. I love cooking. I especially love cooking for other people. It’s an easy way for me to show affection without having to talk about my feelings.
When Nadia moved in with me, she looked me in the eye and told me to stop apologizing to her. My guilt over leaving her behind as a teenager is heavy, and the regret over not going back as an adult is possibly even worse.
So, I cook for her. It’s my way of saying sorry without uttering the words. Homemade fine dining. I slide a plate of smoked salmon eggs Benedict across the island toward her, followed by a cup of piping hot coffee.
“Fuck yes.” Her eyes light up, and she runs her finger through the hollandaise sauce before sucking it off with an exaggerated moan. My sister has no shame.
“You’ve been hanging out with those Gold Rush girls too much.”
She laughs. “So have you.”
I ignore the comment. I know Mira wants to keep us under wraps. And as much as I hate the feelings of inadequacy that come with it, I respect her decision. No matter how badly I’d like to shout it from the rooftops and not feel like I have to sneak over to her house under the cover of darkness. She asked me to stay last night after our heart-to-heart, but I knew she’d regret it in the morning when I would inevitably have to walk out to my vehicle amid a bustling farm filled with her friends and colleagues.
I put her on all fours and fucked her hard one more time—just the way she likes— and kissed her senseless before driving home in a haze of memories and complicated feelings.
Plus, I have work to do around the farm this morning. Racing season is almost upon us, and I’ve got some young horses that really need to get started training. Something I know nothing about. But luckily, Griffin does.
“Ready?” I ask as he rounds the corner after using the washroom.
He lifts his chin and grunts, hiding beneath the brim of his baseball cap. Nadia whips around, startled by the strange man standing in our house.
“Sorry, Nadia. This is Griffin. The guy I bought this place from.”
She takes one look at him and places her fork down. “Thatis Griffin?”
My brow furrows as I load mine and Griffin’s coffee mugs into the dishwasher. We’ve already eaten and had coffee and are ready to go. The guy gets up at the crack of dawn, and I don’t mind getting him acquainted with his new projects nice and early.
“Yeah.”
“Yourbest friendGriffin?” Her eyes bulge in their sockets.
“Relax, Nadia. Adults don’t havebest friends.”
Griffin snorts, rubs his beard, and walks to the front door to shove his feet into a pair of worn cowboy boots.
“I’ve already told you. He sold me this place and we’ve just stayed in touch.”
Okay, that might downplay it. I like Griffin, and he probablyismy best friend. He’s not invasive or annoying, but he’s also the only person in this valley who didn’t treat me like a leper when I got here. He moved up into the mountains once I took over. His new property is pretty remote, but I’ve been up a couple times. He’s a private guy, but he’s invited me hunting—a new experience for me—and I’ve helped him with some repairs to his cottage. Which is why he’s here repaying me the favor. As a former bronc rider, he assures me he can get a few youngsters started up for me, and that’s not a gift horse I’m about to look in the mouth.
My sister’s face scrunches up in confusion as she whispers, “But… he’s a total dick.”
I bark out a laugh as I round the bar top toward the front entryway. “I’m glad you think so.” I wink at her. “Then I won’t have to worry about you scaring him off with your antics while he’s here.”
I swear I can almost hear Nadia roll her eyes. That girl has an attitude the size of Texas. And to be honest, it’s part of what I love about her.
