Page 90 of The Front Runner
But I’m paralyzed by the sentiment that I do nothing unless it helps me in some way. Do I only save animals because it makes me feel good? And if I do… is that even a bad thing?
“Do you want him?”
That’s a question I barely need to think about. “Yes.”
“Then take him. I saw the way that fool looked at you when you were here. You might have thought you were tricking us by bringing a fake date to fend off the questions, but not me. And nothing about that day was fake for him.”
I think she’s trying to reassure me, but it’s not working. The cracking pain in my chest is sharp enough to take my breath away.
“Okay.” My breathing hitches as my brain whirrs.
What have I done?How have I so easily dismissed our connection as something fleeting? Why did I give up on him when I’ve never given up on anything that matters to me in my life? Maybe it’s not so bad I do things that benefit me.
Maybe my mistake is failing to make Stefan one of those things.
“Well?” She props her tiny fists on her full hips and gives me a suffering look. “Why are you still here pretending that you’re out of samosas?”
Why does she know absolutely everything?
“Get out of here. Go get him. Nobody walks away from my favorite granddaughter unless she lets them.”
I was so concerned about what everyone else would think that I failed to notice the way a great man worshipped me. The way he wasgood for me.And now I’ve hurt him. And it doesn’t even matter who’s right or wrong. There’s no fault. My intention doesn’t matter. None of that matters, because I hurt a man who has done nothing but care for me in a way no one ever has.
I don’t even respond. There’s no point in denying my freezer is practically overflowing with samosas. My plan was to pawn these off on Billie and Vi. I nod, swiping my keys off the counter and striding out the front door.
My heart knows how I feel about him. But my head—well, my head is a complicated place to be sometimes. I exist in a world of absolutes and science. But there is nothing absolute about falling in love.
No, that’s a matter for the soul.
The minute I hop in my truck, all fired up and feeling determined, my phone rings through the Bluetooth system. Nadia is calling. I press the button, expecting her to have some question about closing the clinic for the night.
What I don’t expect is her panicked voice. “Mira! The barn at Cascade Acres is on fire!”
* * *
I’ve never driven so dangerouslyin my life. I know the back roads around these small towns like the back of my hand, so I cut every corner I can and break every speed limit. Nadia didn’t have much information other than she’d gotten a call from the barn manager and was heading over there.
I got a hold of Vaughn to close the clinic for us, and I’ve made it back to Ruby Creek in record time. I can see the smoke billowing ahead of me like an omen. My stomach sinks at the sight of the dark clouds over Stefan’s picturesque farm.
Inhaling deep breaths into my lungs, I try to force myself into the right head space for what I might walk into. Barn fires aren’t exactly unheard of. Unfortunately, hay and wood make for excellent kindling. But the outcome never gets easier. Burns, smoke inhalation, it’s almost always ugly and heartbreaking.
Especially with the size of the smoke overhead. This isn’t some small spark.
I confirm my suspicions when I turn into the driveway. The scenic barn is covered in smoke, flames licking up the back side of the building. Lights flash in the darkening night, and I hear the firefighters shouting as I park and jump out of my truck—heading straight for the fire.
I see the barn manager, Leo, staring at the scene before him, mouth agape, standing with the glow of flames lighting his face.
“Are the horses out?” I ask him.
“I—no. Not all of them. We’d just put them all away for the night when it happened.”
My heart lurches.Loki. Farrah.Rage courses through me. “And why are you just standing here?”
“What am I supposed to do?”
Absolute idiot. “Were you here when it started?”
He nods solemnly. The coward was here when it started and didn’t do shit except stand here catching flies.
