Page 10 of A False Start
And then I throw ten bucks down on the worn bar top and leave, just to prove to myself that I can.
It’s what I do tonight. Reach into my back pocket and pull a bill from my wallet, tossing it down beside the glass while the bartender converses with someone else.
And then I walk right back out that door. Feeling like the victor. Knowing that in my years away, I’ve grown stronger. Even if I haven’t been able to heal completely, I make better decisions now. Except for the night I kissed Nadia, that night I headed back to take a leak before I left.
That night I felt just vulnerable enough to do something stupid, like kiss a girl who was barely old enough to drink.
5
Nadia
“Hey,you. Just as hot as I remember.”
Tommy is leaning against the railing at the top of the stairs that lead to my apartment with a wide boyish grin on his face. I dislike the familiarity of the way he talks to me, like we know each other well. The way his eyes rake over the floral off-the-shoulder shirt I’m wearing makes me want to squirm a little bit.
Sure, we made out a few times. Were a thing. Sort of. In the most casual sense of the word. But that was a couple of years ago now. And we haven’t maintained a friendship.
“Hi, one sec.” I dart back into the house when I realize it’s just cool enough out that I want to take a sweater with me.
He’s been relentless with asking me out, showing up at my work, saying we should give it another shot. That we’re good together. Which is a bit of a stretch in my book. We were never exclusive and seeing him hanging off one of the other girls in town never bothered me.
Not after that kiss with Griffin. Once I knew what a kiss could be, everything else just came up short.
Especially Tommy.
But Griffin isn’t a reality for me. First, he speaks to me with growls and grunts. I’m pretty sure he hates me. Second, and most important of all, he’s my brother’s best friend.
That’s a line that would be frowned upon crossing. No matter how heart-stopping the kiss was.
So here I am, taking Tommy to Sunday family dinner to see if we can be a thing for real this time. We’re both older now, more mature—or at least trying to be. I went off to school and so did he. Maybe a fresh start is what we both need.
“Okay, ready!” I round the corner and expect Tommy to be standing at the door, all golden blond locks and twinkly blue eyes. Happy-go-lucky and laid back are just what a girl like me needs to shine a little light on her dark past.
But he’s not waiting at the door.
I step onto the landing and peer down the stairs to see him sitting in his truck.Off to a good start.I roll my eyes. Couldn’t even handle waiting a couple minutes for me. I lock up and hustle down the stairs, already regretting agreeing to this.
He’s on his phone, engine already running when I get in. Doesn’t even look up.
Annoyance courses through me. I spent an entire lifetime in a house with a mother who believed a man every time he said he would change. I wonder if this is just part of my genetic make-up. Tommy says he’s changed, grown up. He’s going to business school so he can start his own company.
And I believed him.
So far, it seems like the joke is on me.
I don’t need him to roll out the red carpet. But telling me I’m hot and then ignoring me isn’t making me wet in the panties. The thought of locking myself down in a relationship is hard enough. Never mind with someone who annoys me within minutes of arriving. It seems like this is what I’m supposed to be doing, though, so I forge ahead.
“Ready?”
He chuckles and shakes his head at his phone. Like there’s something funny, and I’m not in on the joke. And then, without a word, he shifts into drive and pulls out of the driveway toward my brother’s house just five minutes down the road at Cascade Acres.
“Some of the boys are going out for drinks tonight.” He reaches to roll down the window. “Let’s meet them after dinner.”
He’s smiling. He looks happy and relaxed, excited to be home and off school for the summer, a perfect contrast to the stress coiling in my gut.
I don’t drink, and it’s a Sunday night.
“I have to work in the morning. I don’t think that’s going to work for me.”
