Page 110 of Heartless
I cross my arms over my chest and look away.Love. I was never sure I could love someone in the way everyone talks about it. My heart has taken too many shit-kickings over the years. My mom. Talia. What Talia meant for the course my life took. All the things I missed out on, which I hate to even mention because I have Luke. But I’d be a liar if I said I never thought about what I might have done differently had life dealt me a different hand.
Maybe I’d be rodeoing. Or traveling all over North America, rolling in the cash that comes from selling top-of-the-line horses.
Maybe I’d be training all day and riding buckle bunnies all night.
All those maybes. But as I watch Willa put little weighted clips on the tablecloth so nothing blows away, I know that none of those maybes would have been right.
The hand dealt to me is what brought her to my front step.
“Yeah,” I grumble, still refusing to look at Summer.
She makes a satisfied little humming noise, and when I peek out of the corner of my eye at her, she winks and gives me a side hug. She’s so tiny that it’s awkward. She doesn’t have Willa’s height or long limbs.
“You should tell her.”
“Tell her?”
She shrugs. “Yeah. I think Willa would want to know that.”
I snort. “So that I can scare her away?”
Her lips curve up slowly. “I don’t think you’ll be able to scare Willa away,” is all she says before giving me another squeeze and walking in the opposite direction.
She drops a truth bomb casually and then just leaves me to overanalyze the hell out of it.
* * *
The party is already in full swing by the time Talia deigns to bless us with her presence. I don’t even have to turn to see her because I hear, “My baaabyyy!” in her high, sugary voice.
Her baby. I can’t even stop my eyes from rolling up to the sky when I hear it. It’s a ridiculous thing to say to a child you see once a year and walked away from without a goodbye.
I catch sight of Willa talking to my dad and some of the other parents. She’s wearing an orange dress with little white polka dots and a soft flowing skirt. I want to flip it up and see what’s underneath.
But now, watching the way she stiffens and her fingers crinkle in on the poop emoji cup she’s holding, I want to throw my arm around her shoulder and reassure her. I want to make her cheeks pink again because they’re going pale right before my eyes.
She wouldn’t want me to though. She’s too fierce, too proud. So I look away, because if I stay eyeing her, I’m going to do it anyway.
Luke gives Talia a stiff hug, kind of patting her on her slender back as she mauls him. I wish she wouldn’t waltz into his party late, when she wanted it earlier, and still make it all about her.
If nothing else, it’s very on brand for her.
“Let me see you.” She’s dressed to the nines in a skin-tight dress and high heels that are sinking into the grass as she assesses him. “How did you grow up so fast?”
I hear Rhett snort.
Loud.
Loud enough that she turns a venomous glare at him.
He just smiles back. “Hi, Talia. Long time no see.”
Fucking shit disturber. I always bite my tongue about her around Luke because I want him to make his own decisions about his mother. If he wants a relationship with her one day, I don’t want him thinking I poisoned him against her. It kills me but I know it’s right.
Which is why I bite back my laugh at her brittle smile and the way her eyes pinch. She’s like this beautiful mirage on the outside, all sour on the inside. And if looks could kill, Rhett would keel over on the spot.
Luckily, that’s not the case, and he raises his poop emoji cup toward her in a silent cheers.
Behind me I hear a snicker that sounds distinctly like my dad. I don’t turn, though, because Luke is looking so uncomfortable with everyone watching that all I can think about is getting to him.
