Page 8 of Stonewall

How can that be?

I’ve met plenty of women through the years. Fucked a lot of them but never have I felt anything for any of them, never wanted to get to know them, spend any time with them afterward, I have never been tempted to date them, shit most of the time, I didn’t think about them again once I walked out the door.

There is Mary, of course, but I don’t count her among the other women. Mary is special and will always have a place in my heart. I love her and always will. But, it’s a tame kind of love; I don’t feel possession or passionate need. Mary was meant for Shadow, not me and I see that more and more every day.

No, Brooke is different; I knew the first time I laid eyes on her. I want her, all of her.

I pulled to the clubhouse gate and waited for Johnny to come to the window. Since I was in my Jeep, he would check before opening the gate. “Hey, Stonewall, back early, huh?”

“Yeah, finished early, ready for a shower and bed,” I told him, and he walked back to the shed opening the gate. I gave him a wave as I drove through, driving around back to park. I got out, grabbed my backpack, threw it over my shoulder, and went inside. It was almost midnight, but several brothers and club bitches were still hanging around, even on a Monday night. I like what Shadow has done with the place. Jax didn’t bother putting any money into the clubhouse, letting it get run down. The common area had a true bar feeling to it, making it a great place to hang out and relax.

I spotted Kickstand sitting at the bar. “Hey, brother,” I said as I took the stool next to him; I would have a drink and then head to bed.

“We weren’t expecting you till tomorrow,” Kickstand said, glancing at me before returning his gaze to his laptop.

“Whiskey neat,” I told the prospect behind the bar before answering, “I checked on Brooke, and Flex left the city, so I figured I’d head back and get caught up on work.”

“What’s she like? Is she sweet like Tildie?” Kickstand asked.

“There are similarities in features. But, Brooke isn’t what I would call sweet or cute like Tildie, feisty maybe, strong-willed and fucking gorgeous,” I remarked, realizing too late I gave myself away that I was attracted to her.

Kickstand gave me his full attention with raised eyebrows and a smirk, “Find all that out from just checking on her, huh?”

“I may have interacted with her,” I said offhandedly, taking a sip of my drink.

“Uh, huh, I don’t think there is any may have to it,” Kickstand muttered, his eyes returning to his laptop. His computer has been practically glued to him for the last month.

“Hey baby, you’re back,” Jenna rasped into my ear as her arms slinked around my waist. I stiffened, removing her arms. I wasn’t like some of the other brothers who paid attention to the club bitches outside of fucking, and if I wasn’t in the mood for a tumble, I let them know. “No,” I snapped. Jenna gave a huff and moved on.

“You know, Stonewall; you’ve said no a lot lately. Dick not functioning?” Kickstand chuckled, never raising his eyes from whatever was on the screen.

“My dick works just fine. I think my tastes have changed. Later,” I answered, standing and heading upstairs to my room. Since Mary’s been around, I feel like my conscious has reappeared. That day she came into the strip club and saw me coming out of the back with the strippers, and the disappointment that crossed her face hit me. My promise to her mother to respect women and not be like my dad came flooding back. No, I didn’t abuse women and helped them when they needed saving, but I used women when it came to sex.

Over the next few months, I realized that other than a fuck I didn’t care about the club women; I didn’t respect them or want to know them outside of sex. Shit, other than their first names, I knew nothing about them. I realized I didn’t like that about myself; I reminded myself of my dad, and that needed to change. And since I had no desire to know any of the club women, I haven’t fucked them, trying to be a better man when it came to sleeping around.

I let myself into my room, throwing my backpack on the chair and stripping off my clothes so I could jump in the shower. It’s only been half a day since I saw Brooke, and I want to see her again. I sat on the bed with my phone and found her number. I typed a text message hitting send, and then went to take my shower with thoughts of a dark-haired beauty.

CHAPTER SIX

IT WAS MYday off, so I always brought Gaelto the park and let him play for a few hours. I sat on a bench and kept a steady watch on Gael as he played, smiling when he gave me a wave from the top of the playhouse. I heard my phone go off and knew it was Lenny. It had been three days, and he would text me throughout the day; he always said good morning and goodnight without fail. I glanced at my phone to see a message that reads:Hey, crystal eyes, what are u doing?

At the park with Gael. What are u doing?I answered. Lenny didn’t seem to mind that I had a child. In a text the other night, I told him I was making dinner for my son Gael, and if it bothered him, he didn’t let on. He even asked how old he was. I wasn’t sure where this relationship was going, if anywhere; I was still married to Flex, for now anyway, but my son was part of me, and it was important that Gael was accepted. My instincts felt so good about Lenny, but I also knew something wasn’t adding up with him, but I couldn’t pull back for the life of me.

Taking a break for lunch, wishing I could see u. He wrote back. I asked what he did, and he said he managed a tattoo shop. But he was very vague about details which caused a red flag for me. Not enough to quit talking to him but enough to where I was still debating meeting him alone. I needed to be absolutely certain he was the real deal to take a chance on him. I knew if anyone could help me get away from Flex, it was Lenny if he turned out to be the man I thought he was.

I’m right here. I teased.

If only it were that easy. My next appt. is here. Will text later, beautiful. I smiled as I read the text message and then deleted the conversation. I couldn’t risk Flex seeing it. He had a habit of taking and looking through my phone. I had Lenny under emergency in my contacts.

I still haven’t heard anything from Tildie. I’m more worried than I have ever been. Carol said the clubhouse had been pretty much deserted for a month now, and the only thing she knew was that shit had been going down with another club, and Cross was laying low with most of the club brothers. The other club had to be The Devil’s House; Cross wanted their president, Shadow, dead in retribution for the club killing our dad. His anger was misplaced. Our dad was after a confrontation with Jax, Shadow’s dad, for years, and he finally got it. They all did, and now they are six feet under in dirt.

That sicko Mouth must have Tildie with him hiding out. I know Mouth was part of the reason I got stuck with Flex. Mouth wanted me gone from the clubhouse so he could abuse Tildie without interference. After I left the club, Mouth made sure I never talked alone with Tildie; he or one of his watchdogs was always watching. And she was never allowed to leave without Mouth making it impossible to get her out without a foolproof plan, and that took money.

“Mommy, I’m hungry,” Gael shouted as he ran up to me.

“You’re always hungry; this is a bottomless pit,” I chuckled, tickling his belly.

“I’m ready for McDonald’s,” he told me, pulling on my hand. On my day off, I always treated him to the park and then a Happy Meal with an ice cream cone afterward.

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