Page 53 of Good Girl Gone Bad

“Don’t you want to come in?” Lily asked Marco when he motioned for her to enter her own house.

The past three days had been rough. They were supposed to return to the States sooner, but because of Nonna’s death, Marco decided to stay longer and attend her funeral service. Lily supported him and didn’t ask anything of him—particularly after she had declared her love for him.

Marco followed her inside. He’d entered her apartment once or twice before, on much happier occasions. Now he had the painful task of ending their affair and breaking the contract he’d insisted on.

She put her bag on the couch and then washed her hands at the kitchen sink. During the flight home, he fooled her by pretending to work on his laptop, while what he was really doing was thinking about a hard conversation he had to have. He’d also kept his thoughts to himself during the drive to her place. The idea of having the driver take her in a separate car crossed his mind, but that would have broken her heart.

Not like what I’m about to do is any different.

When his brother had accused him of falling for her, he’d dismissed the idea. He couldn’t have. That would have been careless. When she’d told him she loved him three days prior, he’d known for sure that she truly loved him. Being with her because she cared about his sexual desires was selfish, but that he could handle. Being with her because she loved him meant opening the door to a world of disappointment.

He hadn’t been able to love his mother, or his father, even after he tried to mend fences following Nonna’s death. Well, mend fences the Calogero way, by pretending he hadn’t ruined his childhood, but that was beside the point. Hell, even his grandmother, whom he did love—he did a bad job of being there for her. He’d kept away for far longer than he should have. He had to save Lily from himself.

“Do you want anything to drink?” she asked.

He took a deep breath. “Lily, our agreement is coming to an end.”

She tilted her head to the side, as if trying to understand if that was a good or bad thing. “What does this mean?”

“I no longer require you to continue to live up to your part of the bargain. You’re released of all your duties, and I’ll keep up my end of our deal.”

Tears rolled down from her eyes before she parted her lips. A side of him simmered with anger, anger at himself. His gut grew tight, but he had to keep his resolve. If he wavered, all would be lost. She would be lost.

“Just like that? You’re releasing me of my duties?” she said, pain lacing her words.

His throat pulsed, and he had to convince himself to move on with his plan, for her sake and happiness, even if it seemed like he was doing the opposite. “This has been the agreement from the beginning. I never wanted to hurt you, Lily. That’s why I had a contract.”

“You didn’t want to hurt yourself. That’s why you needed a piece of paper to keep from getting close.”

A knot formed in his gut, and each time he glanced at her, the knot twisted painfully. “I’m sorry. I can’t give you anything else. I never promised I would.”

“Another easy way out for you. You can shove your so-called honesty up your ass. I doubt you’re being honest right now. You’re going to stand here in my home and tell me you’re totally fine with letting me go? That you don’t feel anything for me other than sexual chemistry?”

He paced, shoving his trembling fingers into his pockets to keep them from view. “What I feel doesn’t matter. Feelings don’t have an IQ. I need to follow my instinct.”

She grabbed a box of tissues from her countertop and used them to wipe the tears from her glossy, achingly sad eyes. He had to wrestle the need to erase the distance between them and hug her tightly.

“Your instincts suck. And you know what?” She crumpled the tissue and tossed it to the floor, then locked her eyes with his. “You’re not honest. You’re afraid.”

He exhaled. “I’m rational. Trust me, I’m making a decision for the both of us that you’ll thank me for later.”

“Is this because I told you I loved you?”

“No,” he lied. He’d hate for her to rehash what she’d said later on her own. She hadn’t done or said anything wrong, anyway. “It’s over.”

“When I met you, I thought you were this powerful man who fought for what he wanted. Then I learned you fought against your own emotions because they’d hurt you through the years. Now I see a coward who’s not even willing to fight for what he deserves. You’re too set in your own little world of games and documents.”

“That’s right,” he said.

“Get out of my home,” she said, stretching to her full height. Despite the tears, and the melancholy in her voice, there was a challenge in her eyes he didn’t dare to accept. “I was always okay with you being broken, but I’m not good with you being a coward.”

…

“Honey, I love all my gifts. You shouldn’t have,” her mother said, glancing at all the souvenir knickknacks and shirts Lily had bought in Italy. “But I’m so glad you did,” her mother said with a wink, then played with a small key ring.

Lily willed herself to smile. After Marco had left her apartment, she’d given herself three full days before visiting her mother. To conceal her puffy red eyes, she’d put on a godawful amount of makeup.

“What’s wrong?” her mother asked, sitting next to her on the opposite bed. Lily was glad her mother’s roommate had left for an aqua aerobics class and they could be alone.

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