Page 40 of Falling For The Doctor

“I don't want to talk to you, Frank.”

“Well, I want to talk to you. If you want to do this out here, we can. Your neighbors might find out more about you than you want them to though.”

He said it so simply, like there really was no option for me. I really didn't know what I was thinking. I should have known that even if I told him I didn't want to be with him and I didn't want to see him, he wasn't going to take that for an answer. He hadn’t before. Frank was super annoying that way.

I threw something on over my robe to make it look baggy and I answered the door. I tried to steel myself for the reaction I was going to feel, but I couldn't brace myself for the way my body immediately responded to him. How badly I missed him. How badly I wanted things to have turned out differently.

40

Frank

Iwas so nervous that my hands were shaking, but I didn't know why. This was what all that time searching for her had come to, talking through the door. I hadn’t even seen her yet and I was already ready to lose it.

It had taken months to find Tommy and then it had taken longer to check out the locations I was given. The small town of Asheville was a place that I never would have looked. It was quite slow-living, and it didn't seem like something that Amber would like, but then again, I was starting to realize quite quickly that there was a lot I didn't know about Amber. I wanted to know everything there was, but a lot had been left out.

When I saw her, the first thing that came to mind that hadn’t been left out of my thoughts was how good she looked. In my mind, nobody could be more perfect and the reality of it was more of the same. She looked happy, glowing even, and I had to stare at her for several moments, trying hard to memorize her again in my mind.

“It is damn good to see you. I was starting to think that I never would again.”

“You could've fooled me, Frank. From what I heard, you didn’t want to see me again.”

“What would make you think that?”

It was going to come down to the hesitation. I just knew it and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say in defense to that. I had hesitated, just not for the reasons that she thought.

“I heard what you said to Tommy, he had it on speaker, so that I would know exactly how you truly felt about me. He was right, I didn't know and once I did, I probably wished that I hadn't. Here I am falling for you and you’re so easily ready to cut ties with me.”

“I didn't know what was going on. I thought that, you know, I thought that you were in on it.”

That wasn’t at all what I thought or should have said. Her eyes narrowed and Amber looked even more hurt than before, if that was even possible.

“How could you ever think such a thing, Frank? How would you ever believe that I would do anything to hurt your daughter? I love Alice and I would have never done that. I wish that you knew me better because you would have known that I would never in a million years do such a thing.”

“I know that now. I think I knew it then too, but I was just so mad. I had never dreamed that something like that would happen, and I blamed you for bringing it into my life, into our lives.”

“Well, you’re welcome to your opinion. You are right too. I did bring it all into your life. I admit it, so I just don’t want to hear about it anymore. I don't even understand why you're here, quite honestly.”

I didn't know why I thought it would be easy. I guess I didn't think it would be easy, I just didn't think that she would look at me the way she was now. She looked at me like she hated me and that was hard to stomach because I was so in love with her.

I moved toward her because I just wanted to touch her and tell her that I was sorry. Touch her face, kiss her. It was literally my only desire for so long, I couldn’t imagine not doing it now that she was right in front of me.

Instead of taking my touch though, she took a step back and looked at me like I was going to jump on her or something. It haunted me the way she looked, what must be going through her mind. I didn't want that at all. The last thing I wanted was for her to have any kind of negative feelings. Amber was the one that I loved, why couldn't she see that? She couldn't hold a few minutes under duress against me forever, could she?

“Are you afraid of me now?”

“No, why would you think that?”

“Because you are practically running away from me. You want to tell me why that is?”

Amber just looked at me, gave me a dirty look, and said that she was just surprised to see me. I could believe that, considering I just dropped by and where I had found her and the fact that she had made it a point not to tell me. She had gone through many efforts so that no one would find her. I didn't think that I was the only one that she was avoiding either. I wished I knew what was going on, but I did know that something was off. I didn't think that it was the fact that I was here either. It felt like there was something else.

I took another step toward her and again she backed up. She was hiding something and when I asked her what it was, she lied.

“Really, Frank, you've got to give it a rest. I haven't seen you in months and you think you can come in here and start making accusations?”

“I am not making accusations; I'm trying to figure out why you're acting this way.”

“Did you ever think that maybe I didn't want to see you again and that's why I left?”

---