Page 15 of Falling for the Enemy

Amber hollered at me to come in and I opened the screen door. It was unseasonably warm, and it looked like she was airing it out in the early morning. I was a little cold because my hair was wet, so I was thankful to get into the warmth of the house. The weather fluctuated so much up and down; I made a mental note to check the weather when I got back. It felt like there was something in the air.

“I made some coffee. Would you like some?”

I told her that I would, and I waited until we both had a cup, and then I suggested we sit out on the porch. “Are you afraid to be alone with me?”

The question was attached with an innuendo, and it honestly threw me off because of what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how nice the sunrise was going to be since I didn’t have to see it alone.

“I wasn’t thinking that at all, Amber, but it's good to know where your mind is.”

Her face blushed prettily, and I told her that it was nice to not be the only one with my mind in the gutter all the time.

“That's not what I meant,” she started.

“Don't ruin it, Amber,” I told her. “I like thinking that you have those thoughts. If you don't, you don't have to tell me.”

“What if it isn't true?” Amber wanted to know.

“Well, if it's not true, then you can just lie to me a little bit longer.”

Amber blew out a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry, but I just think that you just like to mess with me.”

That made me laugh. I really didn't know what I was doing with Amber. She was obviously not my type, especially since I had sworn off women. Sometimes I made an exception to that rule to meet physical needs. It couldn't be helped sometimes, but that sort of arrangement wouldn’t work with her. I wouldn’t be able to stop and feelings were already there. It also didn’t help that she was my neighbor. It all pointed to not happening.

“Maybe I do. Maybe it's just really easy and I can’t help myself,” I said.

Amber didn't look at me for several moments. She made a comment about how pretty the sunrise was, but when I said it was beautiful in response, I wasn't looking at the sky anymore.

She had taken a shower too. Her hair was a little wet, and she had no makeup on. She didn’t wear much as it was, but now there was none. She looked fresh and so damn innocent. It was probably then that I realized she was likely ten years or more younger than me. Why had I not seen that before? Likely, I didn’t want to.

“You did really good today, Amber. I know it can be hard to sleep right afterward, but you really do need to try. If not, you are going to be dragging tomorrow.”

She agreed, saying she was tired, and I thought we both knew that neither one of us was going to get any rest. I liked to think that she thought about me as much as I thought about her. I had been thinking about Amber a lot lately and seeing her helpful and vulnerable really did something to me.

I left soon after, promising to give her a ride in the evening. I got home and talked to Jeremy. He wanted to see if I was ready to go out again, but I wasn't. I had too much on my mind and none of it was gambling with money. I was trying to gamble with a more important currency.

I tossed and turned for hours and realized that I might as well stop trying to fight it. I got up, against my own recommendation, and did some work around the house until it was almost noon. I finally laid back down and I was just about to doze off when I got a call from my sister. She just wanted to check in and tell me that everything was okay. It was good to hear her voice, but at the same time, it was a bit annoying because I had just finally fallen asleep. I tried not to let the frustration get in my voice, but she noticed it when I was asked about Amber.

“What do you want to know about Amber?” I demanded.

“Chill. Geez. It’s not me really, it's more Alice wants to know about her. She has been asking me to find something out. Whoever she is, she really made an impression on Alice.”

She really made an impression on me too, I thought to myself.

I told her that we were working together now, and my sister was quick to tell me what it was that she thought I should do.

“Now that you're going to have this time alone with her, maybe you should rethink your silly little rules, especially the one about no girlfriends. It's time to live your own life, brother, not just save me from mine.”

She had never once described it like that and while I had so in my head, hearing it said out loud made it seem like I was doing us both a disservice. It wasn't like I needed to go after Amber. I was already thinking about it and caught myself almost kissing her on the porch before I left. My sister acting like it was perfectly natural for me to go after her, giving me permission, made it seem more practical. Why couldn't it happen?

I got off the phone with her and, of course, her comments made sleep impossible. As it got closer for our shift to start, I was so tired, and it just seemed far more complicated than it had to be. The house seemed cold on my way out, so I turned the heat up a little bit. Amber was waiting for me outside with a coat on and she looked like she was shivering. We got in the car and neither one of us said anything except hello. Amber seemed reserved and I had no idea why. There was this tension between us that I hadn't felt before. Was it me or her?

I tried to break the ice, asking her how her day was, but she barely looked at me. She said something about how it was good, but she never once actually looked at me. I wanted to ask her what had changed, but I thought I knew. There had been a moment on the porch, it wasn't just me wanting to see it. It had been there, and I wasn't the only one that had felt it. Was she thinking about that moment as well? Had it kept her awake like it had me? If I had the answer to either one of those questions, it would have been easier to deal with. As much as I told myself that I was going to go after Amber, she was an employee and my neighbor. I’d already considered it a thousand times in my head. How long would it be until I was acting on it?

The roads felt icy from the rain that had fallen most of the day. I hadn't really noticed it, I was so wrapped up in Amber. She was messing with my mind or something, but at the end of the day, I realized that my attention needed to be on the road and not the situation with her.

We must have hit an icy patch that was pretty substantial because the car started to careen off the road. I thought I had corrected it, but the wheels wouldn’t corporate and the only place for us was down. The brakes wouldn't work and that unseasonably warm day that we had had, was now replaced with a bitter cold that froze the roads overnight.

Amber grabbed my arm at some point as we spun, and the car kept hurtling down the hill faster than I was comfortable with. I tried to tell her that I was in control, but the truth was I didn't want to lie to her. We were not in control, I was sure that we were going to wreck, and it only got worse when I heard the barrier on the side of the road break. Not only were we going to crash, but we were going to go over in an area with a large drop. I remembered thinking that it was probably the worst situation that we could find ourselves in and worse than that, I looked over at Amber and she was scared to death. I didn't have time to assure her that everything was going to be okay. It would have been a lie anyway. We were going down a 40-foot drop. I knew this road well. This was not going to be okay.

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