Page 24 of Falling for the Enemy

I wason the way back home, and it was just about as quiet as when we drove in. I didn't know what to say, there was definitely something between us, but I didn’t know what to say. I stopped in front of my house. I wanted to invite him in, but I knew that it probably wasn't a good idea. I was already exhausted and what we had done in his office was kind of a fluke. At least that's what I told myself. I still didn't know how I was supposed to feel about all of it. I wasn't ready to pretend like nothing had happened with him and Robert.

When I didn't ask, he did. It was really hard to tell him no, but I succeeded in that, and it was almost worth the pouty face that he gave me in response. I think he was trying to make me feel bad, but I didn't. After all, I had just been satisfied a couple of hours ago, so it wasn’t like I was dying for it or anything.

“I will see you later, Frank. I am going to try to get some sleep.”

“I could help put you to bed.”

I sighed and disagreed. He was persistent and my body was having second thoughts. “No, if you do that, neither one of us will get any sleep.”

Frank had a look on his face like that was the point and I had to tell him no again. Maybe a taste was a bad idea. When he talked about needing more, I started to feel like I needed it too. I swear it was like he was just messing with my head.

I went to my place and looked around. I immediately wished that I had told him to stay for a little while. We could have just had a drink or something. If I would have found an excuse to call him back over, I would have. Instead, I laid in bed, tossing and turning and thinking about what might have been. I wished that I had let him come over and put me to sleep. He was so damn good at it.

I slept fitfully for a few hours, even though I was tired. I woke up later in the afternoon and Frank was doing work in the yard. When I asked him what he was doing, he said that he was looking for a reward. When I asked him what sort of reward, the grin that he gave me did not leave anything to the imagination. I found it a bit presumptuous, but it must have worked, because I told him to come in and get a drink when he was done.

He worked twice as fast and was done not too long after I said something. He was very adamant about his reward, and the way he was looking at me and the way that I was trembling standing in front of him, I couldn't think of a good reason to tell him no.

22

Frank

Iwent into work with Amber later that night and we still didn't have much to say apparently. She was hot and cold, and I had no idea where I stood with her, but I had learned that Amber had a one-track mind sometimes. All I had to do was touch her and kiss her in just the right way and she was mine. While I was still trying to come to grips with Amber and the relationship that was budding between us, I was still confused. She wasn't like most women who would be a bit clingier or want to talk about what we were. Amber didn't talk about any of it. She just wanted to have sex. It really should have been a good situation, but now I was the one who wanted to talk about what we were doing and what we were to each other. I wanted to put a name on it, which was not like me at all.

It was like Amber was changing me from the inside out and it was disconcerting, especially when I wasn't sure how she felt about all of it. I wanted to ask her, but then I told myself I was just being ridiculous. I had a perfect opportunity, sex without strings, and I was trying to mess it up by over complicating it.

That thought kept my mouth shut most of the trip. I stopped her before we got into work and told her that I would be getting something to drive soon. I hadn’t pushed for it just yet, mainly because I wanted to see Amber. She was elusive but felt honor-bound to help me with rides. Once I got a vehicle, she would no longer feel that obligation.

“Are we going to spend some time together during break?” I asked, hoping that we would. I was still reliving the moments in my office. I didn’t know if I would be able to be in there and not think of what had happened.

“I don't know, I will have to see what my boss says. He's a real ball-buster.”

“Is that so?”

She agreed and there was a moment where I thought she was going to lean in and kiss me. She was close enough. It didn't happen though, and I quickly wanted to kiss her instead. I usually wasn't so unsure of myself. I usually didn't care as much how I came across, but I couldn't help but care. I worried that I might have broken all the rules and now I was going to break my own heart. The rules were there to save me. Like all other rules, for some reason, I couldn’t help but break them.

We went our separate ways. I didn’t have a reason for being on the floor, so I went to my office and thought about her the whole time. When break time rolled around, I hoped that she would show up to help me out. I needed her, the way she had offered it up before. I wanted that now, really needed it.

It's not like I needed to come, my desire to wasn’t completely overwhelming like the last time we were together, but I was greedy when it came to Amber. I just wanted her all the time, even though I told myself I wasn't going to get it. I went down to the main floor a few minutes later to find out if she was coming or not.

I saw a couple of looks. This wasn’t what I usually did, two nights in a row on the floor, but nobody said anything. I was grateful for that, not because I cared, but because I knew that Amber did. She said that she thought she was getting sideways looks from people. She made it very clear that she did not want to be thought of as sleeping her way to the top or anything like that, though it was kind of funny to think about it just because it was a factory. The top wasn’t me.

I tried to respect it though, even when I was bursting inside with desire for her. When the people around us wouldn't stop looking, I told her that we needed to speak in the office for a few minutes.

Amber was frustrated and told me that if she was going to sleep with me, it was going to be her time, not mine. I didn't know why that made me smile so much, but it did. I took her upstairs to my office. I didn’t want to waste any of the break. I asked her if I needed to stay within the time constraints. Amber and I did our best to do just that. She wasn't walking right when she got back downstairs, and I welled up inside, while she wanted to pretend that what we were doing didn't affect her. I had proof that she wasn't quite being truthful.

* * *

The weekend rolled around,and I was more than happy to take my niece Alice. I apparently was not against using her to get in closer with Amber. She really liked my niece and I figured that while she could ignore me and say no to me, she wouldn't be able to say no to Alice. I know that I was never able to.

After my sister left and Alice was asking what we were going to do, I suggested that maybe we should go see Amber. I was shameless. She was at once down for the plan and though I felt a tiny inkling of guilt for my actions, obviously it wasn't enough for me to change course. I was quite sure that it would be forgiven. The more that she was standoffish with me and unsure of what was between us, it just made me want to push it even more.

When she answered the door, her eyes met mine and I felt like she knew exactly what I was doing. I should have felt guilty, I knew that she expected me to, but I didn't. She told me that I was shameless though, underneath her breath. Shameless I could handle. It was probably more correct than I cared to admit. I wasn’t going to feel shame though. I was okay with the title, as long as it kept her close.

She bent down and said hello to Alice, asking how she was and how my sister was. Alice blossomed under all of the attention, and she just had such an easy way with her. It was quite impossible to find anything negative to think or say about Amber. She was special, in the sort of way that I had been looking for, even while the whole time I didn't even know I was looking. Now it would seem that I didn't know what I needed or what I wanted. I had to see the real example in person to fully understand that she was real.

We all decided to go out to the park. Alice seemed ecstatic and I was more or less along for the ride. I got to watch the two of them talk. They had like their own little language that I didn't quite understand. I made the mistake of asking Amber if she would ever have kids and she gave me the weirdest look, like I was asking her to have my kid. I wasn't, of course, I was just curious. She seemed like such a natural, but it was made quite clear that I shouldn't have asked.

She was quiet and reserved from the moment that I asked her that question. Several times I wished I hadn’t said anything, but I really was curious. I thought that it would be a compliment, telling her that she would be a good mother, but it was quite clear that she did not take it as a compliment. I asked her what was wrong, and she just blew out a frustrated breath.

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